Mom, this one’s for you…

My mother and I have a unique relationship and dare I say, she’s my best friend.  No, I don’t live in her basement or comb her hair at the end of scary movies.  We have some strong feelings which are independent of each other; but our cores or souls- if you will, are intertwined.  I have known people who choose to not be a a fixture in their birth families but that’s not us.   We’ve all seen the movies and read the books (Thank you Nicholas Sparks, Jodie Piccolt, Katherine Howe, and Diana Gabaldon).

When she loves, it’s with her whole being.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a person, a sports team, a home or heritage.  She will make sure to find everything that she can to help her demonstrate how dedicated she is.

My mother (sister too) have our own language.  The following list is not complete because I can’t always remember which phrases are normal or not…

  • When does her broom land? (When will her flight be here?)
  • The Mouse Mattresses (feminine hygiene product).
  • Plug (feminine hygiene product).
  • Y’s (husbands).
  • Going north (I’m going to bed).
  • The Beakers (my chickens).
  • Count noses (make sure each critter/pet is accounted for).
  • Laundry (curse word).
  • Escapè (her vehicle).
  • Mimi (the Miata).
  • Dory (my vehicle).
  • Last Name Reference (Serious contact or meaning business).
  • Vitamins (m&m’s, or any chocolate to help feel better).
  • Go Juice (Coffee).
  • Boogie Vault (used tissue left on the furniture or floor).
  • Inked (cat or pug expressed).
  • Familiar (animal bond).
  • Woobie (preferred throw blanket).
  • Skooshi  (my stuffed bear).
  • Marco?!   (Where are you?).
  • Polo!   (Over here).
  • Bad Andrew!  (Her phone -droid, isn’t cooperating).
  • Fish Lips (Not wearing lip gloss or lipstick).
  • Boy Toes (unpedicured feet or missing toe nail polish).
  • 🙋🏼 (daily emoji for “Hello”).
  • 👀 (emoji for “What are you up to?).
  • 🚗 or 🚙 (warning emoji “I’m en route to pick you up”, or “On my way  over”).
  • Smelly Good (essential oils or yellow cake baking).
  • A.F.G.E. (n. pronounced affghee, the acronym for another f^*+ing growing experience).

Obviously this is a language that is understood by us and we revel in that.  I’m certain that every family has a language of their own; but they aren’t us, so I don’t care. 

We are lucky to get along so well.  She has helped me over and over again.   She’s my biggest fan, and my harshest critic.  She keeps things clean in the common areas, but to really know her, you have to see her office.  I depend on her for things like proper mannerisms at various events and quips to brighten a bad mood.

She only purchases honey and other seasonal favorites at Farmers Markets.  She loves Salmon and squash for dinner.  She washes it down with a red wine.  She doesn’t eat red meat  She prefers brownies to cake.  She smells like bath & body works scents.  She’s got a great persona.  Just do NOT put your feet near her pillow.  She takes it everywhere and it can sit where you are just as nicely as you do -should you play footsie with her pillow-think about it.  

She’s smart.  Lord is she smart…  she’s been through it all.  She is from a family of six.  My mother has survived the death of a younger sister to cancer in the mid 1970’s, another sister to drug dependency in the early 2000’s and her parents’ deaths (6 weeks apart) in 2010.  *moment of silence, for Gordon and Grace for they lived their truths.  sigh

She thinks that Fairies are cute and she talks to plants.  She gets a twinkle in her eyes when it’s time to paint the deck -even on the hottest days of the summer.  She cracks me up more often than not.  She loves old western movies. She was into Star Trek and is now a Big Bang fan.  She cheers for Eli Manning, UofM and Arizona college football teams. 

She has grounded me from watching Dr. Oz, The Doctors and referencing on my phone.  She is a “Swoop In And Take Over” Mom.  She even introduced me to a man based on a dream she had  -she had the chutzpah to call him and tell him about it/me.  (Before she called me.)  We met on a golf course in NE MI where she worked in the ProShop.  We have been married now for over eleven years.  She offers to babysit our fifteen “kids” so that my husband and I are able to go to travel for appointments or whatever.  

She reads books about fictional time travel, and is subscribed to She has pre-scheduled hair and manicure appointments for a year in advance. She wears a Yin Yang symbol almost daily.  She’s quick, brave and a force to be reckoned with.  Yet, she’s also one who can sit in the furthest area of the room and just watch, listen, read, nap, or whatever.  

Last but not least, she is beautiful! She never accepts this compliment, yet she is truly beautiful. 

Out of everyone in the world I would still choose her to be my mom.  I would still choose my sister too… our bond is just as strong.  We have the power of three and we are formidable.  Thanks Mom, for like, everything!  

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