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Morel’s and Murder

Can I just say, how lovely Sunday the 22nd of April was?  The sun was out, the temperatures were in the 60-70 range.  There was even a light wind in the tops of the trees… ahhhhhhh.  My intuition whispered, “Go for a walk.”  My mom said -in her mom voice, “I am going to go with or without you.” 

It is Morel Season, a walk outside might just render some delicious Morels.  I made sure to wear a bright pink top, mud boots and tea tree oil (bugs hate it).  My mom and I made the usual rounds up, next to my house then we went into the woods.

You want morels, and I can help.  No, I can’t reveal my secret locations… not necessarily because I’m selfish (well, maybe partly), but because it wouldn’t be fun for you. Morel mushroom hunting is adventurous. It’s thrilling, and it’s incredibly rewarding! If you’ve ever found any on your own, you know exactly what I mean.”

She didn’t find anything, but I did (golf ball).  We just kept walking around, heads down, eyes peeled for the elusive mushroom.  She managed to wiggle herself through brush almost taller than her and called for me,  “Brande!  You have got to see this!”

“Nope.  I’m good.  I’ll keep looking under the trees.”

“I found a skeleton!”

“Ummmm no.”

“It’s totally cool though….  it has human teeth!”

Okay so I am obsessed with the television show “Bones”.  I yelled, “I get to be Bones!! You get to be Booth!!”  Through the tall grasses I went.  She was right.

I stared at it, there were so many bones!  The head, legs, ribs, spine, mandibles and we were so excited!  We dug up as much as we could.  Tissue free, yet marrow full; it was weighing down our Morel bucket.

Kinda creepy eh?  

Well since I’m “Bones,” I was getting all scienc-eeee and tried naming them…. come on 7th Grade Science, don’t fail me now….  “Ooooh that’s a rib!  Or that’s back tooth…  ere go; I carried on with my Latin -Physician wanna-be tone.”  

We decided that these bones would be way more fun than mushrooms, and walked back to the house.  We talked about our bones, potential murder (car hit?  Bow?  Rifle? Coyote lunch?). and what we were planning to do with/about them.  For instance, what will my husband say?  Hmmmmm.  (Poor guy.  It’s a good thing my mom moved in to help take care of us.)

Upon returning, we started to lay the bones on my deck and try to put them together.  When we realized that there were a lot of leg bones we tried to decide not only where they went but what they were called.  We got to the largest leg bone.  My mom said “fibula or humurus” and I said “Thigh bone”.  We bickered over this for quite awhile.

We continued “playing” with the bones for awhile and then went inside.  My husband asked if we found any mushrooms…  “What’s for dinner then?”  Great question.

Our actual booty was a pretty rock, two golf balls, and a skeleton.  Not a mushroom to be seen.  Maybe tomorrow.?

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