~Defining Myself
{Minus Labels}
Anxious impressions,
Dreamt Strength,
Mindful goodbyes.

~Defining Myself
{Minus Labels}
Anxious impressions,
Dreamt Strength,
Mindful goodbyes.
It was Sunday, just an ordinary Sunday for us… wake up, clean up, go to church, meet with congregation people for brunch at a local cafe.
I was on an Eggs Benedict kick, which has since become a Veggie Omelette (no onions). I order a hot water so that I can steep my own tea. I’m becoming a foo-foo tea snob… that story is for another day.
Anyway, this past Sunday, we had a full eight top, all individual tickets, and multiple trips for our server. She and I have developed a rapport which is half of the reason I like the cafe so much.
She was going around the table to get the orders when I noticed that everybody was ordering “Rooster Fries”. I asked what the big deal was and other than listing what all is included, the folks would either sigh or vehemently demonstrate their version of how good this particular item is.
My server agreed with the rest of my table mates. She even threw in an, “I love it!” I was tempted, but I went with my usual, veggie omelette. My husband stuck to his regular order too. We usually get an a’la carte blueberry pancake to share as well.
The group “booed” our lack of adventure in dining. So I threw in an order of Rooster Fries too.
When the food arrived, everyone dug in. I decided to try the fries first… and oh-my-Lord they were amazing!
The table was silent and I don’t think folks came up for air between bites. I know that I was nose deep into the Fries before I looked at my husband. He hadn’t ordered the fries. We were going to share the blueberry pancake and the fries at home -later.
I realized that he knew I was in oblivion and even my omelette wasn’t being touched. That would have to go home with us.
When I came up for air, I took a spot of tea and looked over at my darling husband, who was pretending to pout. The blueberry pancake had been cut in half and his eyes wandered over to the fries. There was definitely a sense of “no fairsies” coming from him.
I said that I would “just have them to take home too” (all three bites of it). Lest you forget, the halves of blueberry pancake no longer existed. He enjoyed the WHOLE pancake.
True to self, we walked out carrying two “To Go” boxes in hand. One for my Veggie Omelette and one for the Rooster Fries. We were both amused. This is life.
It’s tough to watch
And I wonder
“What’s next”?
The USA Education
is a bust today.
But, can everyone
say “I did my best”?
~~~~
We know about
the original policies,
And we see the one
room school houses
The latest policies
and real academics
have no place
and have since eased,
We teach to
Standardized Tests,📝
bubbles,
number 2 pencils✏️
and a bunch of
changing rules.✅
~~~~
Teachers and staff
are forbidden
to discipline,
And yet, parents
want/ need someone to blame.
All of this is tiresome
and gets under my skin,
My mind can only see
the Federally banned novel📚
by Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (‘s)
🔥flame.🔥
~~~~
It’s not the guns,🔫
drugs💊
or violent games,🕹
It’s the kids📰
always pushing the limits
and the relentless
childish arguing🗯
for their rights
which means
calling the
“adults'” bluff.
~~~~
Therefore, empty threats,
the toys,
the distinction
and the fears
of what a child may claim
to law enforcement
and be separated
for years and years.
We all need to stand up,
learn the word “No“,
mean it,
have powerful support⚙️
and scream “Enough!”
~~~~
The USA Dept. of Education
needs a major
makeover,
Artificial Intelligence (A.I.),
Technology,
Wireless,
software,
hardware
,
upgrades
and cell…
~~~~~
However, staying out of touch,
ignoring the confrontation,
being politically correct,
loses the purpose
of the brick & mortar,
Community, safe place.
All of this
Really puts today’s students
into a decision:
real life vs. hell?
~~~~
I am aghast
at the thought
of arming school staff,
We have classes of 40+ students now.
All hyped up on sugar
and shots of caf (feine)…
I was brought up
in a different time.
Now it’s too easy to get lost
& feel contempt,
toward those who take
the class down.
This is NOT
what I went to college for.
~~~~
So this retired
Kindergarten, Grades 7-12 Teacher
implores,
With the U.S. Dept. of Education
to stop putting the future
in our past,
It doesn’t belong there.
This and those
future generations
will only
go elsewhere.
—
Oh!!,
And remember
that one kid
who got lost
and allowed the hate
to last?
~~~~
Won’t accept any blame.
Because it’s tough out there.
The attention and fame,
Are all sudden,
impulsive,
and wonderously
rare.
~~~~
Fifteen minutes of fame
taste oh-so-sweet.
The media’s view above
and below
cannot be beat.
The echoes of Sirens will
sound up and down
the streets.
The past
and future
finally meet.
⚡️👩🏼💻👨🏻💻 🌎🧝🏼♀️🧝🏽♂️⚡️🤼♂️🗽 🏰⚔️⚖️
You know that old joke about Country Music? The one that goes “What happens when you play a Country song backwards? He gets his job back. He gets his truck back. He gets his dog back. Oh! Annnddd, he gets a contract for his songs!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Everyone laughs.
Cue tacky twang, I’ve got a good one.
(Given that it’s Christmas Eve I’ll see what Andy Williams has going on.)
Ahem.
It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!
With the kids snowmobiling,
And everyone telling you,
“Watch out for deeeeeeeeer!”
It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!
~
It’s the sa- saddest season of all.
With those doctor appointment calls,
And tons of blood work
Without real answers at alllllll
It’s the sa-saddest season of all.
~
There were dreams we were living,
Pugs and pets we were loving
Money for spending
on travels for stories of glories
With projects we’re working onnnnnn
~
2017 had us jumping and begging
The vet bill was crazy
My baby girl pug passed away
My dream career (not just a job) is done
Student loans are threatening
SSA-Disability is on government vacation
My eye glasses broke on a holiday weekend.
It the worst, worst 2017 of all.
Well? Is this properly pouty and pessimistic?
The thing is, I can’t cry anymore. I am So. Far. Gone. it’s pathetic! I have to laugh at each “problem” when it pops up. This makes me look crazy. And that is ok.
I still think that if everyone in the world was given a puppy and a Coke, we could sing a song and hold hands with whomever we choose and the world would be a happy place.
Or, maybe I just need a day of The Hallmark Channel with feel good shows and movies. 😬. “Jesus, take the wheel”.
“… Does anyone here feel like their thyroid disease might be connected to dysfunction of their throat chakra? Reason I ask….like many people, I have suffered abuse in my life, and wonder if the inability to speak about the abuse is one of the reasons why this autoimmune disease has manifested at my throat chakra/thyroid…”
This is one of those word games that English Teacher’s just love…
Game: place the word “only” anywhere within the sentence.
She told him that she loved him.
Looking forward to comments and responses on this one.
The Search:
Given my current situation, I decided to try to find a Physician who is informed, specialized in, and was challenge worthy of curing what ails me. I have been filling out forms galore! I went through one entire Health Park and one Internal Medicine Hospital.
Let’s see, I have traveled all over my state in the USA. The money for fuel, hotels, dinner, co-pays, prescriptions, job loss and overall mental stress is not what I am upset about. That’s just collateral damage. One’s Health is priceless. So I pushed from one end to the other of specialists, general, and …
Well, you name it, I was there. Husband in hand. Mother as a barracuda. Even a very close friend from work -all to be my “Rock”. I am always thankful to them. ❤️
What?
My research is self-sustaining (when I don’t have brain fog, or a headache, or simply exhausted). It is also self-torture. I have gone through Social Media, Libraries and Journals.
I know a lot about Hypothyroidism. Throw some Auto Immune Disease in there too. Oops, don’t forget the Hashimoto’s Disease, Migraines, Hormonal Imbalances, Anxiety, Depression, Hopelessness, PTSD, Seizures, Food Intolerances, hair loss, Vertigo and Concussions due to falling. have had all of these symptoms/experiences in the past four years. This past year January 1, 2016 through today my “experiences” have become a million
times worse than when all of this started.
Kinda Cool Part<<<<<
ed that blood tests are not really necessary in my case, because they don’t test the cells which make up the body. The cells which make us human don’t get tested. Blood does. Thus getting a normal lab result is counter-intuitive to discovering the cause of my woes.
Declined<<<<<
, I was declined by both attempts of becoming a patient of an Internal Medicine Hospital as well as the ENTIRE Health Park. Hmmmm. As Shakespeare would say, “Much Ado About Nothing”.
Now What?<<<<<
paign called “The Broken Brain” by Dr. Hyman. I watched the trailer, then I signed up for the free online Docu-series. There are eight episodes and over fifty doctors who attest to the information presented:
“With 1.1 BILLION lives compromised by brain issues EVERY day, I know this documentary series will provide vital new information, expert connections and most of all, hope.”
Fees<<<
e wellness center in MA. They don’t accept insurance. They charge approximately $10,000.00 for their two days of service.
The similar wellness clinic in my state (as there are many centers across the country) also does not take insurance either.
Rock Robbins<<<<<
o an article I read this evening, those involved were exasperated and out of money. You should read it. Alas, they have hope!
I like how the author states “When one doctor or specialist had tried everything in his or her repertoire, we’d move on to someone else.After enough traditional doctors couldn’t dial her health in, we eventually moved on to alternative doctors and treatments – chiropractic, acupuncture, herbal supplements, meditation, and on and on…”That’s (This is) the reality (body image, weight gain) for some women. With multiple issues and body systems affecting each other and playing off each other, it can be pretty challenging to get everything into balance.blockquote>We found that this condition involved so much more than just physiology. So many elements played into this diagnosis – it was about stress, food, lifestyle, belief systems, relationships and more.We have spent the last 20 years, and almost $300,000, diving deep into this dis-ease. <<<<<<<<<
ut my future, as well as my husband and family’s future. Watch the attached video shared from YouTube. It’s thought provoking. I may not have a cure or a new place to dig in and research, but I have hope (kinda, sorta, maybe; depends on the day).
I’ve always loved flowers.
As I have rolled myself into “adulthood”, I have discovered that I prefer flowers in their semi-natural beds. A lot of people, and I mean A LOT of people, in my town, are Master Gardeners. I figured that growing my own flowers would be a nice hobby.
Plus, I would have a reason to go outside and get my Vitamin D too. Win, win!
I decided to try gardening. The key word here is try.
I now understand why gardeners threaten trespassers with their lives. The frustration and anger of one little, beautiful and helpless flower being stepped on is a legitimate defense – or at least it should be.
Dear Master Gardeners, I apologize for dancing on your Daffodils and ignoring the placement of your Irises.
Day One: First we (me, husband, mother). had to weed and Roto-till the spaces for the separate areas for the different beds. Within ten minutes we voted and all chipped in to hire the neighbor kid to do it. He did. Whew!
Day Two: Cover all exposed areas with black paper…. “hey neighbor!”
Day Three: My mother came over to help me roll out pre-seeded lavender bed rolls ordered from Groupon. I supposedly had 50,000 seeds so at least one seedling had to work.
Create amazing decor for the flower beds: ummm… skip.
Maintenance: Keep checking on the Groupon guaranteed Rolls. Luckily I could look into my garden from the air conditioned living room to check on it daily.
Water: We still have our timer from Christmas lights, that will work. Or so I thought… Ok not really… my garden was flooded by; oh I’d say five days into this. We now had quicksand.
I could see the neighbor kids’ foot prints in the sand puddling with water. I simply needed to turn off the timer… Done.
It was supposed to be a very rainy week anyway.
Weeds: The weeds grew and grew. They were taller than me and had nothing to do with or about the water or lavender.
I have NOT seen even one plant of my Groupon 💯 guarantee. My neighbor kid is going to be so mad when he comes back from Boot Camp!
All involved read the directions from Groupon carefully…
My mother and I re-read the directions… no lavender.
Well… it wasn’t until I realized that I physically couldn’t do much more than trap my neighbor kid, tell him how sick I am, get him to do the hard stuff, and then flood everything while he was in boot camp; that maybe I was a bit overzealous about my new hobby.
I couldn’t muster up the energy to be a gardener. I am just too sensitive to temperatures, brightness, bug bites, bending over and everything it takes to grow flowers purposefully.
I had one job. One ☝️. Discover and create a beautiful garden. I failed. My husband knew how upsetting it was for me. He took me to the cute little store in Bay City and I found a bunch of fake flowers (lavender of course) to purchase and enjoy at home.
Sometimes mental health is brushed aside when a physical task fails. I mean, who goes through the fuss and anticipation of a project wanting to be a failure? It’s a tough pill to swallow. His actions, my mom’s help and of course the neighbor kid were here working their butts off because my symptoms made me miserable while the heat only exasperated them. They did all of that in my best interest. So Thank You!
I guess my body health (brain included) needs some more time to hopefully heal. When it will let me know; remains to be seen.
Emails.
Yep, that’s right. My email address is getting way too many messages. Anyone else in this boat?
I’m not putting this out there for bragging about or fishing for compliments. I’m putting this out there because I am not going to read them all. Any coupons, weekly ads, going out of sale ads, or relisting of items that I was outbid on previously are going to my trash and junk.
—-UPDATE—- 112 Emails as of 1:43 pm —-
I prefer emails from family or friends. There, I said it. The biggest offenders in my inbox are WalMart and GFS. Hint*. There’s only two of us and we are not interested in 5 gallons of potato salad, nor products for infants. I know, I know, I am not the only person they send ads and emails too. But they can take me off of their lists, for like, ever-ish. (That’s a word… ever-ish. I add ish to a lot of words now. Given that American English is a living language I can make up all kinds of words -if I wanted to; alas I shall stick with ish words for the time being.)
ANYWAY
Which brings me to my main objective in this rant… if brick and mortar stores and webstores are insisting on emailing me, I would at the very least want the information to relate to either me or my husband. I know that there are algorithms that exist for this very purpose. They’re imbedded in those fun, little, member cards.
Again, don’t get me wrong… if you are a real, human, family member or friend, I promise not to put your communications in Junk. It’s bad enough that I refuse to answer my phones anymore because of the crazy spamming going on.
Honestly I am not sure about which is worse…🤔. The phone ringing incessantly or my inbox stretching itself out so much.
It’s obvious to consumer’s that sellers are desperately trying to communicate with us all. Did they all invest in the Nigerian Prince with a great opportunity? (Haha).
ATTENTION SPAMMERS:
Oh the list is endless at this point… Sadly so is my patience. So I shall leave you with these parting words of wisdom.
Ready?
WORDS OF WISDOM BY ME:
How do you explain
Butterflies in your tummy?
Or how you just know
That it’s all going to be ok?
How do you accept an unexpected
loss which shatters your soul?
Why didn’t you know?
—–