Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Captain Obvious, Click, Control, Cost, Crap!, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Idiosyncrasy, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Moving On, My bad!, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Past, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Scrutiny, Senses, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Superstition, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

As Seen on TV 📺

  • My pillow
  • Copper pots, pans, skillets and socks
  • Coobie Bra’s
  • Balance boards
  • Jump Ropes
  • LED everything
  • And let’s not forget Chia Pets

Talk about a society that probably has everything with the use of a remote control and telephone. It is almost eerily suspicious how much the producers put into knowing what, when and how to place these advertisements. They know more about humans’ mental and emotional timing, than we do!

I know this. I know about how it all works; but dang it, that Copper Brownie Pan is quite tempting.

Obviously I don’t have any desire to own a Treadmill, Oscillating Bike, or any exercise equipment. I see too many at Garage Sales. Go figure.

Next we have the diets. South Beach Diet, Dr. Phil Healthy Living, and Bob Green’s (Oprah’s Dietitian) Guide to Better Health.

Companies will even create boxes of “Fresh Foods with recipes ” so that busy people will be able to eat “healthy” at home.

I am not a chef. I hate, hate, hate onions. Plus I’m just picky about food anyway. Give me a can of Spaghettios and some Kool-Aid; I’ll be a happy girl. Plus it only cost $5.00 at most for the entire meal.

The box meals – Blue Apron for example,

cost $35-$100 depending on the company and contract you have to include.

Send me the brownies from the copper stuff instead.

I already have the coloring books and “My Pillows”

a couple of mini-cooker thing scopper socks, lipstick with flowers in it, a “Snuggie” and the list goes on.

They got me.

I didn’t even know that I needed a Winnie the Pooh Chia plant!

My husband and I are on a mission! We WILL change the channel before the “Pocket Hose” stretches itself out, and the “Flex Seal” saves the boat from sinking.

It’s almost a competition now! (Okay take out the word almost…)

Cindy Crawford and her special -yet found with regular household ingredients, makeup whatever? I will use my ninja skills, grab that remote, and change the channel before your mole stares back at me!

🐾Woo Paw!🐾

Props to the Psychologists who figured out the algorithm of human shopping. Your parents must be so proud.

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Cleanliness, Coke, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Hat, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Life, Love, Magic, Manager, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Play It Backwards

You know that old joke about Country Music? The one that goes “What happens when you play a Country song backwards? He gets his job back. He gets his truck back. He gets his dog back. Oh! Annnddd, he gets a contract for his songs!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Everyone laughs.

Cue tacky twang, I’ve got a good one.

(Given that it’s Christmas Eve I’ll see what Andy Williams has going on.)

Ahem.

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

With the kids snowmobiling,

And everyone telling you,

“Watch out for deeeeeeeeer!”

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

~

It’s the sa- saddest season of all.

With those doctor appointment calls,

And tons of blood work

Without real answers at alllllll

It’s the sa-saddest season of all.

~

There were dreams we were living,

Pugs and pets we were loving

Money for spending

on travels for stories of glories

With projects we’re working onnnnnn

~

2017 had us jumping and begging

The vet bill was crazy

My baby girl pug passed away

My dream career (not just a job) is done

Student loans are threatening

SSA-Disability is on government vacation

My eye glasses broke on a holiday weekend.

It the worst, worst 2017 of all.

Well? Is this properly pouty and pessimistic?

The thing is, I can’t cry anymore. I am So. Far. Gone. it’s pathetic! I have to laugh at each “problem” when it pops up. This makes me look crazy. And that is ok.

I still think that if everyone in the world was given a puppy and a Coke, we could sing a song and hold hands with whomever we choose and the world would be a happy place.

Or, maybe I just need a day of The Hallmark Channel with feel good shows and movies. 😬. “Jesus, take the wheel”.

"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

When?

How do you explain 

     Butterflies in your tummy?

Or how you just know 

     That it’s all going to be ok?

How do you accept an unexpected 

     loss which shatters your soul?

Why didn’t you know?

—–

Acceptance, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

🕶 Summer 2017 👒

The skies are blue with white clouds, the wind is in the tops of the trees, and the scent of freshly mowed grass floats through the air.


I can be found outside to absorb Vitamin D more often.  I often go for drives in my 1999 Mazda Miata (top down, radio up.) singing my heart out.  I can enjoy the scenery when I take my dogs on walks.  I could go for bike rides with my husband.  I could follow through with plans or have a summer job for extra money.  But I’m not doing any of these things.  I can hope that all of this will play out next summer or the summer after that.  I will be ok, just not today.


I am spending this summer filling out forms.  Forms?  Yes, forms.  Being in my condition, I have a lot to “prove” to people, I guess.  I have forms for Student Loans, Social Security, Insurance Companies, Appointments to keep from each groups’ Independent Medical Reviews.  My years worth of forms is not helping to remove my carbon footprint.

So if you get the chance to capture some Vitamin D, walk your dog, drive your convertible and go for bike/ horse rides, do it.   Do it for everyone who can’t, right now.  Enjoy the outside and stay “form-free”.  Don’t pick up a writing utensil or hide behind a screen of any sort.  Mind your manners.  Eat full-fat ice cream … on a WAFFLE CONE! 

Most of all… 

Enjoy the Summer of 2017. 👒

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Planning, Hoping & Fumes

I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.


Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.


You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”


My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.


So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cleanliness, Click, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Rose, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Bariatric surgery

I experienced Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass through removal of a portion of the stomach (sleeve gastrectomy or biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) or by resecting and re-routing the small intestine to a small stomach pouch. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariatric_surgery

I needed to be smaller than I was.  I had a great job, my own apartment, a strong family, a very nice Infinity QX4.  Life was grand, until I opened  my mouth to eat.  You see, in 2000, I was diagnosed as being morbidly obese.  I think that my BMI was in the 40’s.

My last year of undergrad was interesting.  I had my first real relationship, student teaching and no cash.  So I ate the cheap food from gas stations, dollar stores, and CostCo.  Bulk was definitely the way to go.  By the year 2000, I was going to end up with diabetes and heart disease.  

The gossip magazine’s were all doting on Carney Wilson of Wilson Philips.  She had an “Easy surgery and the fat just melted off of her”. No pills, drinks, fad diets or exercise programs ever again.   Hey I can handle that!

I got the surgery in October of 2001 -insurance companies are just so easygoing (*Sarcasm).  I laid on my dad’s couch for two weeks and followed the new diets prescribed by my surgeon.  (Clear liquid, regular liquids, soft solids, and then in 6 months normal food, just in very small amounts.  My stomach was now the size of an egg.  The pounds were indeed melting off.  I ended up losing 150 lbs in less than a year.  


The fact that I loved smoothies and coffee;  the ideal weight loss was fairly easy to maintain.  I would drink Protein shakes from the local GNC, drank the Jamba Juice’s “Mocha Moo’s” with extra protein powder, and Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.  I never bothered with cooking.  My idea of cooking was making a pb&j (if I really had to).  I took my dog for walks, farther and farther as weeks went by.  

I started going to “clubs” within the very end of my first year.  It didn’t matter which génère the music was. I just wanted to dance and feel the rhythm of it all.   I felt alive.

After the six months, I had a calzone (black olive, mushrooms, ham, and extra cheese).  Mmmm.  It was really good.  I needed a whole week to finish one… but I didn’t care.  Dancing on the weekends would burn off the calzone calories.   

I moved out of my home state and started a new life with my (then) boyfriend, (now) husband, in a new state 2003.  Alas, as I have mentioned in other posts, my new “home” was missing out on Jamba Juice chain stores and Starbucks (Coffee Shops).  I went through withdrawals.


I was definitely depressed (whenever I had a craving for a Mocha Moo) .  And since I’m an emotional eater, I ate.  I started with the homemade food at the school, where I taught.  That led to eating solid food everywhere!  I even got cooking lessons with, like, a real chef person!

It was getting harder and harder to maintain the ideal weight/ BMI. This means that I was gaining the weight back.  I honestly believed that the operation was to essentially banish the ability to gain weight.  Yet, here I sit, knowing it is possible.  Luckily I have plateaued at a number I can live with.  


I often wonder if the Bariatric Surgery has/ had something to do with the Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s, Adrenal Fatigue, etc. that I am going through now.

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gene Wilder, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mom, Moon, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paranoid?, Parents, Past

Demolished 

I demolished my basement and left it like that for about two months.  Before that, I had destroyed my bedroom by “cleaning out my closet ” and putting it all (my closet inhabitants ex: pants, tops, sweaters, leggings, shoes and glitter) in my garden tub.  That took me about three months to go through and figure out which pieces I wanted to keep.  


This current demolition even got me raised eyebrows from one of my doctors.  My husband said he didn’t mind if it took me a week or so…  Hello, March!  My doctor who raised her eyebrows at me said, “Well it’s obvious that you’re ummm, errrr, (deep breath,  sigh …) punishing  the things that you own.  How much did you give away to your various charities?”


I donated a lot.  Like, a lot-a lot.  My husband has been a good sport with the garden tub.  But the basement, not so much.  We have carpet, I swear!  It’s just, like, not visible.  

He got really frustrated when he couldn’t get to the laundry room without using a mini path I made for him.  He stepped on one of my tall black boots (often) which has a wood 3 ” heel.  


I just couldn’t bring myself to putting it back together.  Was I punishing the basement or myself?  So far I had only touched my stuff.  I wonder if my husband was worried about his own stuff.


I avoided the basement at all costs; kinda like I’m avoiding the nasty banana’s on my kitchen counter.  If I acknowledge them, then I’ll become Betty Crocker of banana bread.  Booooooooooo


It’s Sunday and I have been napping off and on all day.  One of two things needs to happen today so that I don’t feel like a loser slug.  1. Basement.  2. Banana bread.

I’m voting for oats, banana bread, no nuts. There’s only one corner left to fix in the main basement/office area.  The guest room on the other hand…. duh, duh, dunnnnnnn.