"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

When?

How do you explain 

     Butterflies in your tummy?

Or how you just know 

     That it’s all going to be ok?

How do you accept an unexpected 

     loss which shatters your soul?

Why didn’t you know?

—–

Acceptance, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

🕶 Summer 2017 👒

The skies are blue with white clouds, the wind is in the tops of the trees, and the scent of freshly mowed grass floats through the air.


I can be found outside to absorb Vitamin D more often.  I often go for drives in my 1999 Mazda Miata (top down, radio up.) singing my heart out.  I can enjoy the scenery when I take my dogs on walks.  I could go for bike rides with my husband.  I could follow through with plans or have a summer job for extra money.  But I’m not doing any of these things.  I can hope that all of this will play out next summer or the summer after that.  I will be ok, just not today.


I am spending this summer filling out forms.  Forms?  Yes, forms.  Being in my condition, I have a lot to “prove” to people, I guess.  I have forms for Student Loans, Social Security, Insurance Companies, Appointments to keep from each groups’ Independent Medical Reviews.  My years worth of forms is not helping to remove my carbon footprint.

So if you get the chance to capture some Vitamin D, walk your dog, drive your convertible and go for bike/ horse rides, do it.   Do it for everyone who can’t, right now.  Enjoy the outside and stay “form-free”.  Don’t pick up a writing utensil or hide behind a screen of any sort.  Mind your manners.  Eat full-fat ice cream … on a WAFFLE CONE! 

Most of all… 

Enjoy the Summer of 2017. 👒

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Planning, Hoping & Fumes

I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.


Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.


You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”


My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.


So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cleanliness, Click, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Rose, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Bariatric surgery

I experienced Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass through removal of a portion of the stomach (sleeve gastrectomy or biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) or by resecting and re-routing the small intestine to a small stomach pouch. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariatric_surgery

I needed to be smaller than I was.  I had a great job, my own apartment, a strong family, a very nice Infinity QX4.  Life was grand, until I opened  my mouth to eat.  You see, in 2000, I was diagnosed as being morbidly obese.  I think that my BMI was in the 40’s.

My last year of undergrad was interesting.  I had my first real relationship, student teaching and no cash.  So I ate the cheap food from gas stations, dollar stores, and CostCo.  Bulk was definitely the way to go.  By the year 2000, I was going to end up with diabetes and heart disease.  

The gossip magazine’s were all doting on Carney Wilson of Wilson Philips.  She had an “Easy surgery and the fat just melted off of her”. No pills, drinks, fad diets or exercise programs ever again.   Hey I can handle that!

I got the surgery in October of 2001 -insurance companies are just so easygoing (*Sarcasm).  I laid on my dad’s couch for two weeks and followed the new diets prescribed by my surgeon.  (Clear liquid, regular liquids, soft solids, and then in 6 months normal food, just in very small amounts.  My stomach was now the size of an egg.  The pounds were indeed melting off.  I ended up losing 150 lbs in less than a year.  


The fact that I loved smoothies and coffee;  the ideal weight loss was fairly easy to maintain.  I would drink Protein shakes from the local GNC, drank the Jamba Juice’s “Mocha Moo’s” with extra protein powder, and Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.  I never bothered with cooking.  My idea of cooking was making a pb&j (if I really had to).  I took my dog for walks, farther and farther as weeks went by.  

I started going to “clubs” within the very end of my first year.  It didn’t matter which génère the music was. I just wanted to dance and feel the rhythm of it all.   I felt alive.

After the six months, I had a calzone (black olive, mushrooms, ham, and extra cheese).  Mmmm.  It was really good.  I needed a whole week to finish one… but I didn’t care.  Dancing on the weekends would burn off the calzone calories.   

I moved out of my home state and started a new life with my (then) boyfriend, (now) husband, in a new state 2003.  Alas, as I have mentioned in other posts, my new “home” was missing out on Jamba Juice chain stores and Starbucks (Coffee Shops).  I went through withdrawals.


I was definitely depressed (whenever I had a craving for a Mocha Moo) .  And since I’m an emotional eater, I ate.  I started with the homemade food at the school, where I taught.  That led to eating solid food everywhere!  I even got cooking lessons with, like, a real chef person!

It was getting harder and harder to maintain the ideal weight/ BMI. This means that I was gaining the weight back.  I honestly believed that the operation was to essentially banish the ability to gain weight.  Yet, here I sit, knowing it is possible.  Luckily I have plateaued at a number I can live with.  


I often wonder if the Bariatric Surgery has/ had something to do with the Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s, Adrenal Fatigue, etc. that I am going through now.

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Attitude, Captain Obvious, Click, Crap!, Empty, Fate, Fur-ever, Future, Growth, Hat, Husband, Learning, Life, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Moon, Nap, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Oops!, Paranoid?, Past, Rose

259,871 +/-

The exact number of people currently watching a live cam in the stall of a very pregnant Giraffe, named April.  That’s a lot of people, especially when part of the process will include the messy parts (placentas, blood, uterus, hoo hoo, etc.)


There are a few different ways to catch the live cam, YouTube, Facebook and Animal Adventure Giraffe Cam.  I have the direct link saved to my desktop so that I don’t have to keep Googling it.  


Don’t get me wrong…  April seems very sweet.  Her baby daddy (Oliver) is in the pen next to her and they canoodle, often.  It’s one thing to be annoyed with canoodling couples, but these are giraffes and it’s cute.  Besides, a month or so ago our minds were focused on an Eagle’s nest to watch baby eaglettes pop out of their shells.  


I am truly trying to understand this societal phenomenon… Therefore my question is….

Why are so many people interested in this? I asked my mom as we were sitting together in my living room, smart phones handy (just in case).  

My mom replied, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because it’s not political or mean. Maybe the rest of the folks watching just want a reason to smile or find something peaceful in the world that they can focus on for a few weeks/days/moments.”


I thought about it. She was spot on! (Get it? It’s a giraffe joke… spots on a giraffe…. lol). Anyway, it was time for dinner, but afterwards, we went back to the live cam on April. I really like what my mom had to say. Kudos Caldwell! 

#giraffe #thankyou #KudosCaldwell  

Now, reality check.  I have seen some really nasty remarks on April’s fb page.  This is one of a few things that is out of your control; I get it.  You are so busy with your “real world” and find this useless… blah blah blah.  

To those people,  I wish that I could say, “What the hell is your problem?  If you don’t like it, don’t watch it!  Don’t ruin this for people who find respite in the innocent way that we all can rely on for just a few minutes -a mental break.  Geez try to find a little bit of joy and wonder within yourself.”  

Oh!  Look!  I did just say it!