"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

When?

How do you explain 

     Butterflies in your tummy?

Or how you just know 

     That it’s all going to be ok?

How do you accept an unexpected 

     loss which shatters your soul?

Why didn’t you know?

—–

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Planning, Hoping & Fumes

I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.


Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.


You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”


My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.


So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Awkward, Baseball, Books, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Come to Jesus, Control, Crap!, Cry, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Galileo, Gene Wilder, Growth, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Love, Magic, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Moon, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Paranoid?, Past, Pets, Play nice, Quirk, Rationale, Respect, Robin Williams, Scrutiny, Senses, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Telepathy, Unconditional, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

Favorite Quotes…

  • “My desire is not to create mirrors into the souls of men. My desire is to discover any man in truth who can serve two masters and maintain a right to vote.”  ~Queen Elizabeth 👑
  • Tell them I’m through, “For the love of the game.”  -Kevin Costner ⚾️
  • “Let the heat come in, we can begin again. Don’t ever let it make you run, …” 

  • We can learn to view peace as a verb, not just a noun. It comes from within. ☯️
  • Peace matters, not just in this season, but in every season. It matters in our own lives, it matters to our neighbors, and it matters to the millions that share this earth with us.  -The Pope ☮️
  • I am pro peace. -Mother Teresa 💕
  • It doesn’t matter what’s out there. What matters is what’s in here (point to yourself) 💝
  • I like what she said about her breakup…..that when women love so completely, they just want that love to be returned or shown & felt in return. Men just don’t seem to get that. -Lady GaGa,  💞
  • “My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy confides to the alchemist one night as they look up at a moonless night.  🌑

  • “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself,” the alchemist replies. “And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” –Gail Hudson 💫
  • Hang in there, sweet girl.  You’re doing the right thing: you’re sticking with recovery, nourishing your body, and learning to love yourself.  Keep doing the right thing. One day at a time. One meal at a time.
  • I believe in you.  Did you know that?  Do you realize that I probably believe more in you, than you do.  You are wise beyond your years.  ~b. 
  • “Mistakes” is just another word for Experiences. There’s a lot of truth to the saying, “Some things are just not meant to be.” (Tim McGraw via music video Big & Rich).  🎼
  • I don’t eat full meals anymore. I take a few bites and I’m done. Once in awhile I realize that I cooked something but I lose interest and just won’t eat it. I read a book called “Why French Women don’t get fat.” It claimed that they only take three bites to feel full.  How big are those bites? ~b. 

  • I’ve had enough of danger
 and people on the streets
.  I’m looking out for angels
.  Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it’s time.  
That you let me know.  
So if you love me.  
Say you love me
.  But if you don’t, just let me go.  -George Michael  😇
  • Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large—I contain multitudes.― Walt Whitman. 🎄🌳🌲🌱🌿🍃

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gene Wilder, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mom, Moon, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paranoid?, Parents, Past

Demolished 

I demolished my basement and left it like that for about two months.  Before that, I had destroyed my bedroom by “cleaning out my closet ” and putting it all (my closet inhabitants ex: pants, tops, sweaters, leggings, shoes and glitter) in my garden tub.  That took me about three months to go through and figure out which pieces I wanted to keep.  


This current demolition even got me raised eyebrows from one of my doctors.  My husband said he didn’t mind if it took me a week or so…  Hello, March!  My doctor who raised her eyebrows at me said, “Well it’s obvious that you’re ummm, errrr, (deep breath,  sigh …) punishing  the things that you own.  How much did you give away to your various charities?”


I donated a lot.  Like, a lot-a lot.  My husband has been a good sport with the garden tub.  But the basement, not so much.  We have carpet, I swear!  It’s just, like, not visible.  

He got really frustrated when he couldn’t get to the laundry room without using a mini path I made for him.  He stepped on one of my tall black boots (often) which has a wood 3 ” heel.  


I just couldn’t bring myself to putting it back together.  Was I punishing the basement or myself?  So far I had only touched my stuff.  I wonder if my husband was worried about his own stuff.


I avoided the basement at all costs; kinda like I’m avoiding the nasty banana’s on my kitchen counter.  If I acknowledge them, then I’ll become Betty Crocker of banana bread.  Booooooooooo


It’s Sunday and I have been napping off and on all day.  One of two things needs to happen today so that I don’t feel like a loser slug.  1. Basement.  2. Banana bread.

I’m voting for oats, banana bread, no nuts. There’s only one corner left to fix in the main basement/office area.  The guest room on the other hand…. duh, duh, dunnnnnnn.

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Pets

“Whether or not you think I am, you’re right.”

Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrr

No reason to 

Yell “Booooooooo!” to all

That you do.

~

I know that today is

Going to be harsh.

My nerves are going crazy.

I’m on the edge

And there’s nothing hazy

Today.

~~

So I apologize for 

The clip in my tone,

The flip of my phone,

As I fling it across our home.

~

This is the best 

and most you will get 

From me right now.

~~

Yesterday’s physical assault 

from my own body

As well as the day before

Should have warned me 

that more is coming.

~

So I will bite my tongue

Before I regret what I

Will forget that I said 

When I let my mind off it’s rung.

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Big Things Become Little Things 

I was born and raised in the Valley of the Sun (Phoenix, AZ).  I was never able or willing to appreciate Arizona.  It was too hot and brown.  Some say that one can fry an egg on a si…

Source: Big Things Become Little Things