Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Captain Obvious, Click, Control, Cost, Crap!, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Idiosyncrasy, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Moving On, My bad!, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Past, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Scrutiny, Senses, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Superstition, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

As Seen on TV 📺

  • My pillow
  • Copper pots, pans, skillets and socks
  • Coobie Bra’s
  • Balance boards
  • Jump Ropes
  • LED everything
  • And let’s not forget Chia Pets

Talk about a society that probably has everything with the use of a remote control and telephone. It is almost eerily suspicious how much the producers put into knowing what, when and how to place these advertisements. They know more about humans’ mental and emotional timing, than we do!

I know this. I know about how it all works; but dang it, that Copper Brownie Pan is quite tempting.

Obviously I don’t have any desire to own a Treadmill, Oscillating Bike, or any exercise equipment. I see too many at Garage Sales. Go figure.

Next we have the diets. South Beach Diet, Dr. Phil Healthy Living, and Bob Green’s (Oprah’s Dietitian) Guide to Better Health.

Companies will even create boxes of “Fresh Foods with recipes ” so that busy people will be able to eat “healthy” at home.

I am not a chef. I hate, hate, hate onions. Plus I’m just picky about food anyway. Give me a can of Spaghettios and some Kool-Aid; I’ll be a happy girl. Plus it only cost $5.00 at most for the entire meal.

The box meals – Blue Apron for example,

cost $35-$100 depending on the company and contract you have to include.

Send me the brownies from the copper stuff instead.

I already have the coloring books and “My Pillows”

a couple of mini-cooker thing scopper socks, lipstick with flowers in it, a “Snuggie” and the list goes on.

They got me.

I didn’t even know that I needed a Winnie the Pooh Chia plant!

My husband and I are on a mission! We WILL change the channel before the “Pocket Hose” stretches itself out, and the “Flex Seal” saves the boat from sinking.

It’s almost a competition now! (Okay take out the word almost…)

Cindy Crawford and her special -yet found with regular household ingredients, makeup whatever? I will use my ninja skills, grab that remote, and change the channel before your mole stares back at me!

🐾Woo Paw!🐾

Props to the Psychologists who figured out the algorithm of human shopping. Your parents must be so proud.

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Attitude, Awkward, Bare, Brat, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cups, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Gas Card, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Moving On, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, SALE /not sale, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sneaky, Socks, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Tradition!, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

135 Yesterday, 95 Today

Emails.

Yep, that’s right.  My email address is getting way too many messages.  Anyone else in this boat?

I’m not putting this out there for bragging about or fishing for compliments.  I’m putting this out there because I am not going to read them all.  Any coupons, weekly ads, going out of sale ads, or relisting of items that I was outbid on previously are going to my trash and junk.

—-UPDATE—- 112 Emails as of 1:43 pm —-


I prefer emails from family or friends.  There, I said it.  The biggest offenders in my inbox are WalMart and GFS.  Hint*. There’s only two of us and we are not interested in 5 gallons of potato salad, nor products for infants.  I know, I know, I am not the only person they send ads and emails too.  But they can take me off of their lists, for like, ever-ish.  (That’s a word… ever-ish.  I add ish to a lot of words now.  Given that American English is a living language I can make up all kinds of words -if I wanted to; alas I shall stick with ish words for the time being.)

ANYWAY

Which brings me to my main objective in this rant…  if brick and mortar stores and  webstores are insisting on emailing me, I would at the very least want the information to relate to either me or my husband.  I know that there are algorithms that exist for this very purpose.  They’re imbedded in those fun, little, member cards.

Again, don’t get me wrong… if you are a real, human, family member or friend, I promise not to put your communications in Junk.  It’s bad enough that I refuse to answer my phones anymore because of the crazy spamming going on.


Honestly I am not sure about which is worse…🤔. The phone ringing incessantly or my inbox stretching itself out so much.  

It’s obvious to consumer’s that sellers are desperately trying to communicate with us all.  Did they all invest in the Nigerian Prince with a great opportunity?  (Haha). 

ATTENTION SPAMMERS:  

  • I know that I did not register for a trip to Bermuda, Florida, London or Paris.  
  • I also know that I do not have a Windows based computer which needs an unsolicited computer tech.
  • I am aware that my credit card is doing just fine.  So you must be making the error on your end.
  • I know that my vehicle is not under warranty and that I can purchase a new warranty or vehicle which comes with a brand new warranty.
  • I am not a fax machine.
  • The Nigerian Prince is NOT Raj from The Big Bang Theory; and neither exist in reality.  (Bummer.  I like the character traits of Rajesh Kuthrapoli)

Oh the list is endless at this point…  Sadly so is my patience.  So I shall leave you with these parting words of wisdom.

Ready?

WORDS OF WISDOM BY ME:

  • Any word ending with “ish”.
  • No.
  • No thank you.
  • Delete.
  • Unsubscribe.
  • Trash.
  • Just let the machine get it.”


"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

When?

How do you explain 

     Butterflies in your tummy?

Or how you just know 

     That it’s all going to be ok?

How do you accept an unexpected 

     loss which shatters your soul?

Why didn’t you know?

—–

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Attitude, Awkward, Books, Brat, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Control, Cost, Crap!, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Moon, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Past, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Respect, Senses, Silence, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Sweat 💦, Telepathy, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

What I learned this past week… 

Every once in awhile I think it’s important to share my lessons learned with anyone who wants to save themselves from actually having to figure these things out on their own.  It’s the end of July and I am fried.  (July 24th – 30th 2017).

Allow me to explain.

Contrary to popular belief, North East Michigan has “Summer” like everywhere else.  Sometimes it is just a temperature thing.  Other times the humidity kicks in with the high temperatures.  And naturally there are days of lower temperatures and high humidity.    This past week was the perfect storm of high temperatures plus humidity.  For me, this means ‘stay inside with the air conditioner’.


I am heat sensitive.  I get nauseous and zapped of any energy I might have had prior to stepping outside.  This situation will eventually become a Migraine.  But that’s nothing new.   I just wanted to offer some background information for you.

So, I already said it was mostly miserable outside (all week).  My attempts to find some respite were genuine…

For example:

Sunglasses

 When in the vehicle I wore dark sunglasses 😎.  However, it is important to remove the sunglasses when going inside a bank.  Talk about awkward.  Everyone gets all quiet and tense -especially if it’s not a branch you regularly use.  I swear I do not have any connection to the unabomber.  I just have a headache. 

~~~~~~~~
Gas Stations 

Next, I have found that grocery shopping and really any kind of shopping can be done in gas stations.  (Although all gas stations are not created equal.  The good one’s are out there!)  You can get lottery tickets, cappuccino, hoodies, chips, sandwiches, booze, home decor and jewelry all in one place.  So if you have forgotten something-like deodorant or phone charging cables, stop by the gas station with a store.  You will be pleasantly surprised. 






~~~~~~~~

 Sustenance

My husband and I have decided that driving while eating is a mess just waiting to happen.  So when we were en route to the various appointments this past week, we would choose a place with a dining area.  We have also determined that fast food meals cost as much as restaurant meals.  Therefore we usually aim for ‘real’ food establishments.  (I don’t want to get in trouble for last epiphany, you know what I mean.). If I order a chicken sandwich, I want to be able to recognize the chicken. 






~~~~~~~~

Inside the vehicle

The ability to determine a comfortable air temperature for two or more people is tricky.  It takes skill.  Moving the vents is almost always the best thing in these circumstances.  It’s bad if the car is too hot/cold for all.  In this case, all vents were on me.  I was in heaven. 


~~~~~~~~
Radio and music.  

Being where we are we can tap into the local stations.  What happens though when we are out of range? This is where Playlists come in.  Prior to hand held devices, which play whatever you have stored in them, there were 8Tracks, Cassettes and Compact Discs.  All of which were based on one band.  Luckily the Playlist is usually a unique or eclectic mix of songs, podcasts, comedy or whatever.  So, whomever is in charge of the music needs to be attentive to others’ likes/dislikes.




~~~~~~~~
Hotels.  

When booking a hotel ahead of time that is part of a national chain, be certain to notice which one you chose.  Why there are two Red Roof Hotels within two miles of each other is beyond me.  That situation is just begging for customer chaos.  Threatening the desk clerk of the hotel you thought you booked, but didn’t, is unacceptable.  You have to laugh off the confusion and pray that the one you didn’t book has availability and the one you accidentally booked (up the road a bit) is flexible with canceling.  Otherwise driving those two miles, after finding out about the mix up, can be very uncomfortable. (I think Best Westerns do it too -have more than one in a small town.) 









~~~~~~~~

What to bring.  

Well it was just an overnight visit so I kept it simple.  At least that’s what I thought I did.  I had my paperwork, meds, purse, pillow, top and skivvies.  No problem.  My husband asked if I had everything (my travel bag was lighter than usual).  One bag packing…  that was my goal.  He seemed skeptical.  


I was proud of myself… until approximately 90 minutes into the three hour drive.  Now, when the driver is on the road with comfortable atmosphere and the passenger gasps and starts looking around the car and bag packed next to him; he goes on full alert.  What did he miss???? An animal in the ditch?  A speed trap by local law enforcement?  Wrong direction?  (These are just the things I assume he was trying to figure out…  ). 

I had to admit (out loud) that I forgot a ton of stuff and he rolled his eyes.


When we stopped at the gas station within ten minutes, I was so relieved.  He was too, but in a totally different way.  

I had forgotten to pack deodorant, hair spray, pajamas, book, flat iron, shampoo, lotion, lip gloss and mascara.  Good ol’ gas station store is going to save me.  Well I got the deodorant, hairspray and lotion at least.  I even got him a lottery ticket and a box of his favorite candy.  (He didn’t share any of his candy with me.  Not one bit.  Hmph.). 
~~~~~~~~~~
So bring it all.  

Don’t try to stuff your personal maintenance necessities into one bag.  If you need two, take two.  There is no shame in needing tools when being presentable.  My husband was muttering “I thought it was too easy.  You with one bag… should have known.  Ha!”

~~~~~~~~

Do not poke the bear.  

I was bored.  We still had to go back home.  Another three – four hours in the car within twelve hours.  I was getting car sick and thought that if I could focus on something else, my gag reflex would settle down.  I swear my husband can read my mind.  Out of the side of his mouth without even looking at me, he said, “Do not even think I will put up with your need to entertain yourself at my expense.  I will pull over and leave you wherever you land.” 


Bummer.  I suppose a dud lottery ticket and box of candy only goes so far.

Nap time.
~~~~~~~~

This past week put over 800 miles on my Explorer with my husband at the helm.  The different appointments were all over the state from Ann Arbor to Hale with stops along the way.  He got us everywhere safely and didn’t leave me anywhere (bonus*).  

I count my blessings💫 at times like these.  We have a reliable vehicle, money for gas/hotel/food, and each other.  Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don’t.  We are comfortable together and have perhaps learned something new about each other before the day is done.  💞

✨Blessed indeed.✨
 

Acceptance, Angels, Attitude, Awkward, Calculating, Cleanliness, Click, Come to Jesus, Control, Cry, Death, Empty, Fate, Fur-ever, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mom, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Oops!, Organized, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Play nice, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scorpio, Senses, Silence, Sisters, Sneaky, Soul, Sunrises, Sunsets, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Tattoos & Trees

True story:

About ten years ago (+\- five years) and yet another fifteen years prior to that.  This will make sense for you, (the readership in a few moments… hang in there..  I promise.  Trust me.

I traveled to Arizona for a visit with my grandparents, sister and mother.  It was time to find a full service, independent living, facility for my grandparents.

The three of us toured a few facilities each day until we found our ideal space for the distinguished Patriarch and Matriarch of my mothers’ side of the family.  It took a lot of convincing to get them to see it, much less than the actual move from their condo to a facility we chose.

It was nice.  They allowed my grandparents’ cats, furniture and even had it’s own kitchen.  The forms were signed.  Their condo was up for sale and I had to get back to Michigan.

~~~~~~

Within a couple of months I got a call from my sister.  She wanted to get a Tigger tattoo and wanted my opinion.  I have a tattoo on my hip bone of Opus the Penguin.  I got it when I was seventeen, so in my sister’s mind I must remember the experience…. eh… I didn’t.  Seventeen and tattoos were common in my generation; remembering the details, not so much.

Opus the Penguin

I did my best to explain it to her, but jeez that was fifteen years ago.

After many months of looking she decided to bring the multitudes of Tigger to a top three.  In this process she had found a few other ideas that would be good on me and my mother.

She wanted all of us to get (at least one) matching tattoos.  I laughed and questioned her rationale.

“It would be a bonding experience.”

Uh- No.

Within the week I was getting pictures from my sister with a very noticeable Tigger tattoo on her calf.  She even showed it to our grandmother for review.  Apparently our grandmother approved and asked questions about it -the process, design, and pain.  She and my sister often did Tigger themed things, like this cake, for instance.

Tigger everywhere!

The holidays had me back in AZ later that year.  I laughed every time my sister brought up the “group tattoo idea”.  However, by then, my mom had agreed to do it. My sister must have been quite convincing.   They were going on and on about yin yang symbols, turtles, paw prints, etc.  I was still holding firm on my “No.”

I had underestimated my sister because the day after Christmas she admitted something…

She had a plan.

  • We all had to agree on the design and body location.
  • We had to find a clean and reputable establishment that was handicapped accessible.
  • We had to go into it with a “No Regrets” mentality.

I was still not in love with the idea or plan.  Besides, why did it have to be handicap accessible?  So I asked.

Wait for it….

My sister continued, “…Grandma wants to go too.  So we will just swing by her new nursing home, check her out for the day, let her go first with her tatt, get ours, and then grab something to eat, sign her back in to the nursing home without drawing attention to ourselves and Ta Dah.  No biggie!”

“We are NOT kidnapping Grandma, tattooing her in a handicap accessible (air quotes) tattoo parlor, having a late lunch and then sneaking her back in to her nursing home without anyone noticing ‘something different’ about Grandma.”

“Awwww c’mon.  She really wants whatever we’re having.”
“Are you crazy?!  No!  Soooo beyond no!  We could get in serious trouble for that.  Oh My Lord. (*sigh) Did you tell mom?”

“She liked it.”

Of course she did.

This dialogue continued back and forth for quite some time -months.

~~~~~~

My sister stayed on this kick for awhile and is over it now (I think).  Our grandmother passed away within a few years -tattoo free.  My mother is still tattoo free.

Part of me wonders, did my grandmother have a seventeen year old self who always wanted a tattoo, like me? What would she have chosen at seventeen?

I don’t doubt that she entertained the idea then, or at my sister’s plan sixty years later.  I can only fathom what 1945 art was acceptable for her standards.  She was a nurse back then.  She had seen it all, and knew the human body quite well.  She would know where we could keep it hidden and respectable.

This past Autumn, my sister, mother and I were together again and I brought up the group tattoo idea.  We thought about it, tossed around some ideas and then got back to our independently busy lives;    somehow still remaining connected.

Maybe the next time we get the chance I can get us all to agree on a tree.  More specifically The Tree of Life.  It would be a Family Tree of Life!


“As above, so below”

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Planning, Hoping & Fumes

I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.


Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.


You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”


My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.


So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cleanliness, Click, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Rose, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Bariatric surgery

I experienced Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass through removal of a portion of the stomach (sleeve gastrectomy or biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) or by resecting and re-routing the small intestine to a small stomach pouch. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bariatric_surgery

I needed to be smaller than I was.  I had a great job, my own apartment, a strong family, a very nice Infinity QX4.  Life was grand, until I opened  my mouth to eat.  You see, in 2000, I was diagnosed as being morbidly obese.  I think that my BMI was in the 40’s.

My last year of undergrad was interesting.  I had my first real relationship, student teaching and no cash.  So I ate the cheap food from gas stations, dollar stores, and CostCo.  Bulk was definitely the way to go.  By the year 2000, I was going to end up with diabetes and heart disease.  

The gossip magazine’s were all doting on Carney Wilson of Wilson Philips.  She had an “Easy surgery and the fat just melted off of her”. No pills, drinks, fad diets or exercise programs ever again.   Hey I can handle that!

I got the surgery in October of 2001 -insurance companies are just so easygoing (*Sarcasm).  I laid on my dad’s couch for two weeks and followed the new diets prescribed by my surgeon.  (Clear liquid, regular liquids, soft solids, and then in 6 months normal food, just in very small amounts.  My stomach was now the size of an egg.  The pounds were indeed melting off.  I ended up losing 150 lbs in less than a year.  


The fact that I loved smoothies and coffee;  the ideal weight loss was fairly easy to maintain.  I would drink Protein shakes from the local GNC, drank the Jamba Juice’s “Mocha Moo’s” with extra protein powder, and Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.  I never bothered with cooking.  My idea of cooking was making a pb&j (if I really had to).  I took my dog for walks, farther and farther as weeks went by.  

I started going to “clubs” within the very end of my first year.  It didn’t matter which génère the music was. I just wanted to dance and feel the rhythm of it all.   I felt alive.

After the six months, I had a calzone (black olive, mushrooms, ham, and extra cheese).  Mmmm.  It was really good.  I needed a whole week to finish one… but I didn’t care.  Dancing on the weekends would burn off the calzone calories.   

I moved out of my home state and started a new life with my (then) boyfriend, (now) husband, in a new state 2003.  Alas, as I have mentioned in other posts, my new “home” was missing out on Jamba Juice chain stores and Starbucks (Coffee Shops).  I went through withdrawals.


I was definitely depressed (whenever I had a craving for a Mocha Moo) .  And since I’m an emotional eater, I ate.  I started with the homemade food at the school, where I taught.  That led to eating solid food everywhere!  I even got cooking lessons with, like, a real chef person!

It was getting harder and harder to maintain the ideal weight/ BMI. This means that I was gaining the weight back.  I honestly believed that the operation was to essentially banish the ability to gain weight.  Yet, here I sit, knowing it is possible.  Luckily I have plateaued at a number I can live with.  


I often wonder if the Bariatric Surgery has/ had something to do with the Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s, Adrenal Fatigue, etc. that I am going through now.