Acceptance, Attitude, Awkward, Brat, Captain Obvious, cats, Cleanliness, Coffee, Control, Crap!, Cups, Daily, Empty, Habits, Humor, Idiosyncrasy, Kitten, Learning, lid, Life, Love, Me, Mess, My bad!, Pets, Play nice, Quirk, Sneaky, Spill, Tradition!, Warmth, Wow

6-14-19 Coffee & Cats (a humorous look at my mornings).

Coffee and cats

Who is to say

How these cats know

What’s in my cup each day.

But they do

Or at least they must

Because when my cup is set down,

It’s secret is a bust.

I keep my cup covered

To help in case of a spill

That is inevitable

With a swipe and a grin.

I swear my cats grin

When they swipe at my cup

The dogs wait under the edge

Of the table looking up

I think that they

are in cahoots

The cats swipe

The dogs lick

Nothing is sacred

From the juice they pick.

So I actually got a sign

From my husband

That says

“Do not leave food unsupervised!”

Because of the cats

My cups of coffee

And the puddle that lies

(On the floor.)

Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Captain Obvious, Click, Control, Cost, Crap!, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Idiosyncrasy, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, Moving On, My bad!, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Past, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Scrutiny, Senses, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Superstition, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

As Seen on TV 📺

  • My pillow
  • Copper pots, pans, skillets and socks
  • Coobie Bra’s
  • Balance boards
  • Jump Ropes
  • LED everything
  • And let’s not forget Chia Pets

Talk about a society that probably has everything with the use of a remote control and telephone. It is almost eerily suspicious how much the producers put into knowing what, when and how to place these advertisements. They know more about humans’ mental and emotional timing, than we do!

I know this. I know about how it all works; but dang it, that Copper Brownie Pan is quite tempting.

Obviously I don’t have any desire to own a Treadmill, Oscillating Bike, or any exercise equipment. I see too many at Garage Sales. Go figure.

Next we have the diets. South Beach Diet, Dr. Phil Healthy Living, and Bob Green’s (Oprah’s Dietitian) Guide to Better Health.

Companies will even create boxes of “Fresh Foods with recipes ” so that busy people will be able to eat “healthy” at home.

I am not a chef. I hate, hate, hate onions. Plus I’m just picky about food anyway. Give me a can of Spaghettios and some Kool-Aid; I’ll be a happy girl. Plus it only cost $5.00 at most for the entire meal.

The box meals – Blue Apron for example,

cost $35-$100 depending on the company and contract you have to include.

Send me the brownies from the copper stuff instead.

I already have the coloring books and “My Pillows”

a couple of mini-cooker thing scopper socks, lipstick with flowers in it, a “Snuggie” and the list goes on.

They got me.

I didn’t even know that I needed a Winnie the Pooh Chia plant!

My husband and I are on a mission! We WILL change the channel before the “Pocket Hose” stretches itself out, and the “Flex Seal” saves the boat from sinking.

It’s almost a competition now! (Okay take out the word almost…)

Cindy Crawford and her special -yet found with regular household ingredients, makeup whatever? I will use my ninja skills, grab that remote, and change the channel before your mole stares back at me!

🐾Woo Paw!🐾

Props to the Psychologists who figured out the algorithm of human shopping. Your parents must be so proud.

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Cleanliness, Coke, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Hat, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Life, Love, Magic, Manager, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Play It Backwards

You know that old joke about Country Music? The one that goes “What happens when you play a Country song backwards? He gets his job back. He gets his truck back. He gets his dog back. Oh! Annnddd, he gets a contract for his songs!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Everyone laughs.

Cue tacky twang, I’ve got a good one.

(Given that it’s Christmas Eve I’ll see what Andy Williams has going on.)

Ahem.

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

With the kids snowmobiling,

And everyone telling you,

“Watch out for deeeeeeeeer!”

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

~

It’s the sa- saddest season of all.

With those doctor appointment calls,

And tons of blood work

Without real answers at alllllll

It’s the sa-saddest season of all.

~

There were dreams we were living,

Pugs and pets we were loving

Money for spending

on travels for stories of glories

With projects we’re working onnnnnn

~

2017 had us jumping and begging

The vet bill was crazy

My baby girl pug passed away

My dream career (not just a job) is done

Student loans are threatening

SSA-Disability is on government vacation

My eye glasses broke on a holiday weekend.

It the worst, worst 2017 of all.

Well? Is this properly pouty and pessimistic?

The thing is, I can’t cry anymore. I am So. Far. Gone. it’s pathetic! I have to laugh at each “problem” when it pops up. This makes me look crazy. And that is ok.

I still think that if everyone in the world was given a puppy and a Coke, we could sing a song and hold hands with whomever we choose and the world would be a happy place.

Or, maybe I just need a day of The Hallmark Channel with feel good shows and movies. 😬. “Jesus, take the wheel”.

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Books, Captain Obvious, Car, Click, College, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Gas Card, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Mirrors, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Two Big No’s

The Search:

Given my current situation, I decided to try to find a Physician who is informed, specialized in, and was challenge worthy of curing what ails me. I have been filling out forms galore! I went through one entire Health Park and one Internal Medicine Hospital.

Let’s see, I have traveled all over my state in the USA. The money for fuel, hotels, dinner, co-pays, prescriptions, job loss and overall mental stress is not what I am upset about. That’s just collateral damage. One’s Health is priceless. So I pushed from one end to the other of specialists, general, and …

Well, you name it, I was there. Husband in hand. Mother as a barracuda. Even a very close friend from work -all to be my “Rock”. I am always thankful to them. ❤️

What?

My research is self-sustaining (when I don’t have brain fog, or a headache, or simply exhausted). It is also self-torture. I have gone through Social Media, Libraries and Journals.

I know a lot about Hypothyroidism. Throw some Auto Immune Disease in there too. Oops, don’t forget the Hashimoto’s Disease, Migraines, Hormonal Imbalances, Anxiety, Depression, Hopelessness, PTSD, Seizures, Food Intolerances, hair loss, Vertigo and Concussions due to falling. have had all of these symptoms/experiences in the past four years. This past year January 1, 2016 through today my “experiences” have become a million

times worse than when all of this started.

Kinda Cool Part<<<<<
ed that blood tests are not really necessary in my case, because they don’t test the cells which make up the body. The cells which make us human don’t get tested. Blood does. Thus getting a normal lab result is counter-intuitive to discovering the cause of my woes.

Declined<<<<<
, I was declined by both attempts of becoming a patient of an Internal Medicine Hospital as well as the ENTIRE Health Park. Hmmmm. As Shakespeare would say, “Much Ado About Nothing”.

Now What?<<<<<
paign called “The Broken Brain” by Dr. Hyman. I watched the trailer, then I signed up for the free online Docu-series. There are eight episodes and over fifty doctors who attest to the information presented:

“With 1.1 BILLION lives compromised by brain issues EVERY day, I know this documentary series will provide vital new information, expert connections and most of all, hope.”

Fees<<<
e wellness center in MA. They don’t accept insurance. They charge approximately $10,000.00 for their two days of service.

The similar wellness clinic in my state (as there are many centers across the country) also does not take insurance either.

Rock Robbins<<<<<
o an article I read this evening, those involved were exasperated and out of money. You should read it. Alas, they have hope!

I like how the author states “When one doctor or specialist had tried everything in his or her repertoire, we’d move on to someone else.After enough traditional doctors couldn’t dial her health in, we eventually moved on to alternative doctors and treatments – chiropractic, acupuncture, herbal supplements, meditation, and on and on…”That’s (This is) the reality (body image, weight gain) for some women. With multiple issues and body systems affecting each other and playing off each other, it can be pretty challenging to get everything into balance.blockquote>We found that this condition involved so much more than just physiology. So many elements played into this diagnosis – it was about stress, food, lifestyle, belief systems, relationships and more.We have spent the last 20 years, and almost $300,000, diving deep into this dis-ease. <<<<<<<<<
ut my future, as well as my husband and family’s future. Watch the attached video shared from YouTube. It’s thought provoking. I may not have a cure or a new place to dig in and research, but I have hope (kinda, sorta, maybe; depends on the day).

Broken Brain Dr. Hyman

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Brat, Captain Obvious, Cleanliness, Control, Cost, Crap!, Death, Education, Empty, Fate, Future, Growth, Hashimotos, Hat, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Mom, Moving On, My bad!, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Past, Play nice, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Soul, Sun, Sweat 💦, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Warmth, Windows, Wow

Flower Beds

I’ve always loved flowers.

As I have rolled myself into “adulthood”,  I have discovered that I prefer flowers in their semi-natural beds.  A lot of people, and I mean A LOT of people, in my town, are Master Gardeners. I figured that growing my own flowers would be a nice hobby.

Plus, I would have a reason to go outside and get my Vitamin D too. Win, win!

I decided to try gardening.  The key word here is try.

I now understand why gardeners threaten trespassers with their lives. The frustration and anger of one little, beautiful and helpless flower being stepped on is a legitimate defense – or at least it should be.

Dear Master Gardeners, I apologize for dancing on your Daffodils and ignoring the placement of your Irises.

Day One:  First we (me, husband, mother). had to weed and Roto-till the spaces for the separate areas for the different beds. Within ten minutes we voted and all chipped in to hire the neighbor kid to do it. He did. Whew!

Day Two:  Cover all exposed areas with black paper…. “hey neighbor!”

Day Three:  My mother came over to help me roll out pre-seeded lavender bed rolls ordered from Groupon. I supposedly had 50,000 seeds so at least one seedling had to work.

Create amazing decor for the flower beds: ummm… skip.

Maintenance: Keep checking on the Groupon guaranteed Rolls. Luckily I could look into my garden from the air conditioned living room to check on it daily.

Water: We still have our timer from Christmas lights, that will work. Or so I thought… Ok not really… my garden was flooded by; oh I’d say five days into this. We now had quicksand.

I could see the neighbor kids’ foot prints in the sand puddling with water. I simply needed to turn off the timer… Done.

It was supposed to be a very rainy week anyway.

Weeds: The weeds grew and grew. They were taller than me and had nothing to do with or about the water or lavender.

I have NOT seen even one plant of my Groupon 💯 guarantee. My neighbor kid is going to be so mad when he comes back from Boot Camp!

All involved read the directions from Groupon carefully…

My mother and I re-read the directions… no lavender.

  • <<<<<<<<<<
    hoped that there would be a “💥🌿🌱💜 Sea Of Lavender 💥 💜 🌿🌱💥 ” in my garden, and it was going to be beautiful. Alas no purple waves, no sea, no see.
      • I waited.
      • I watched.
      • I asked people who had lavender.
      • I traveled to the other side of the state, with my mother to go to a Certified Lavender Farm! http://www.lavenderhill.com.
      • I read books 📚.
      • I had it all planned!
      • Would you believe that there isn’t anything resembling lavender in their area???
      • There’s nothing!
      • What did I do wrong??

      Well… it wasn’t until I realized that I physically couldn’t do much more than trap my neighbor kid, tell him how sick I am, get him to do the hard stuff, and then flood everything while he was in boot camp; that maybe I was a bit overzealous about my new hobby.

      I couldn’t muster up the energy to be a gardener. I am just too sensitive to temperatures, brightness, bug bites, bending over and everything it takes to grow flowers purposefully.

      I had one job. One ☝️. Discover and create a beautiful garden. I failed. My husband knew how upsetting it was for me. He took me to the cute little store in Bay City and I found a bunch of fake flowers (lavender of course) to purchase and enjoy at home.

      Sometimes mental health is brushed aside when a physical task fails. I mean, who goes through the fuss and anticipation of a project wanting to be a failure? It’s a tough pill to swallow. His actions, my mom’s help and of course the neighbor kid were here working their butts off because my symptoms made me miserable while the heat only exasperated them. They did all of that in my best interest. So Thank You!

      I guess my body health (brain included) needs some more time to hopefully heal. When it will let me know; remains to be seen.

      "The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

      When?

      How do you explain 

           Butterflies in your tummy?

      Or how you just know 

           That it’s all going to be ok?

      How do you accept an unexpected 

           loss which shatters your soul?

      Why didn’t you know?

      —–

      26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Attitude, Awkward, Books, Brat, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Control, Cost, Crap!, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Marriage, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Moon, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Past, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Respect, Senses, Silence, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Sweat 💦, Telepathy, Tradition!, Two Sides, Unconditional, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

      What I learned this past week… 

      Every once in awhile I think it’s important to share my lessons learned with anyone who wants to save themselves from actually having to figure these things out on their own.  It’s the end of July and I am fried.  (July 24th – 30th 2017).

      Allow me to explain.

      Contrary to popular belief, North East Michigan has “Summer” like everywhere else.  Sometimes it is just a temperature thing.  Other times the humidity kicks in with the high temperatures.  And naturally there are days of lower temperatures and high humidity.    This past week was the perfect storm of high temperatures plus humidity.  For me, this means ‘stay inside with the air conditioner’.


      I am heat sensitive.  I get nauseous and zapped of any energy I might have had prior to stepping outside.  This situation will eventually become a Migraine.  But that’s nothing new.   I just wanted to offer some background information for you.

      So, I already said it was mostly miserable outside (all week).  My attempts to find some respite were genuine…

      For example:

      Sunglasses

       When in the vehicle I wore dark sunglasses 😎.  However, it is important to remove the sunglasses when going inside a bank.  Talk about awkward.  Everyone gets all quiet and tense -especially if it’s not a branch you regularly use.  I swear I do not have any connection to the unabomber.  I just have a headache. 

      ~~~~~~~~
      Gas Stations 

      Next, I have found that grocery shopping and really any kind of shopping can be done in gas stations.  (Although all gas stations are not created equal.  The good one’s are out there!)  You can get lottery tickets, cappuccino, hoodies, chips, sandwiches, booze, home decor and jewelry all in one place.  So if you have forgotten something-like deodorant or phone charging cables, stop by the gas station with a store.  You will be pleasantly surprised. 






      ~~~~~~~~

       Sustenance

      My husband and I have decided that driving while eating is a mess just waiting to happen.  So when we were en route to the various appointments this past week, we would choose a place with a dining area.  We have also determined that fast food meals cost as much as restaurant meals.  Therefore we usually aim for ‘real’ food establishments.  (I don’t want to get in trouble for last epiphany, you know what I mean.). If I order a chicken sandwich, I want to be able to recognize the chicken. 






      ~~~~~~~~

      Inside the vehicle

      The ability to determine a comfortable air temperature for two or more people is tricky.  It takes skill.  Moving the vents is almost always the best thing in these circumstances.  It’s bad if the car is too hot/cold for all.  In this case, all vents were on me.  I was in heaven. 


      ~~~~~~~~
      Radio and music.  

      Being where we are we can tap into the local stations.  What happens though when we are out of range? This is where Playlists come in.  Prior to hand held devices, which play whatever you have stored in them, there were 8Tracks, Cassettes and Compact Discs.  All of which were based on one band.  Luckily the Playlist is usually a unique or eclectic mix of songs, podcasts, comedy or whatever.  So, whomever is in charge of the music needs to be attentive to others’ likes/dislikes.




      ~~~~~~~~
      Hotels.  

      When booking a hotel ahead of time that is part of a national chain, be certain to notice which one you chose.  Why there are two Red Roof Hotels within two miles of each other is beyond me.  That situation is just begging for customer chaos.  Threatening the desk clerk of the hotel you thought you booked, but didn’t, is unacceptable.  You have to laugh off the confusion and pray that the one you didn’t book has availability and the one you accidentally booked (up the road a bit) is flexible with canceling.  Otherwise driving those two miles, after finding out about the mix up, can be very uncomfortable. (I think Best Westerns do it too -have more than one in a small town.) 









      ~~~~~~~~

      What to bring.  

      Well it was just an overnight visit so I kept it simple.  At least that’s what I thought I did.  I had my paperwork, meds, purse, pillow, top and skivvies.  No problem.  My husband asked if I had everything (my travel bag was lighter than usual).  One bag packing…  that was my goal.  He seemed skeptical.  


      I was proud of myself… until approximately 90 minutes into the three hour drive.  Now, when the driver is on the road with comfortable atmosphere and the passenger gasps and starts looking around the car and bag packed next to him; he goes on full alert.  What did he miss???? An animal in the ditch?  A speed trap by local law enforcement?  Wrong direction?  (These are just the things I assume he was trying to figure out…  ). 

      I had to admit (out loud) that I forgot a ton of stuff and he rolled his eyes.


      When we stopped at the gas station within ten minutes, I was so relieved.  He was too, but in a totally different way.  

      I had forgotten to pack deodorant, hair spray, pajamas, book, flat iron, shampoo, lotion, lip gloss and mascara.  Good ol’ gas station store is going to save me.  Well I got the deodorant, hairspray and lotion at least.  I even got him a lottery ticket and a box of his favorite candy.  (He didn’t share any of his candy with me.  Not one bit.  Hmph.). 
      ~~~~~~~~~~
      So bring it all.  

      Don’t try to stuff your personal maintenance necessities into one bag.  If you need two, take two.  There is no shame in needing tools when being presentable.  My husband was muttering “I thought it was too easy.  You with one bag… should have known.  Ha!”

      ~~~~~~~~

      Do not poke the bear.  

      I was bored.  We still had to go back home.  Another three – four hours in the car within twelve hours.  I was getting car sick and thought that if I could focus on something else, my gag reflex would settle down.  I swear my husband can read my mind.  Out of the side of his mouth without even looking at me, he said, “Do not even think I will put up with your need to entertain yourself at my expense.  I will pull over and leave you wherever you land.” 


      Bummer.  I suppose a dud lottery ticket and box of candy only goes so far.

      Nap time.
      ~~~~~~~~

      This past week put over 800 miles on my Explorer with my husband at the helm.  The different appointments were all over the state from Ann Arbor to Hale with stops along the way.  He got us everywhere safely and didn’t leave me anywhere (bonus*).  

      I count my blessings💫 at times like these.  We have a reliable vehicle, money for gas/hotel/food, and each other.  Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don’t.  We are comfortable together and have perhaps learned something new about each other before the day is done.  💞

      ✨Blessed indeed.✨
       

      Acceptance, Angels, Attitude, Awkward, Calculating, Cleanliness, Click, Come to Jesus, Control, Cry, Death, Empty, Fate, Fur-ever, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Mom, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Oops!, Organized, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Play nice, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scorpio, Senses, Silence, Sisters, Sneaky, Soul, Sunrises, Sunsets, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Warmth, Wow, Writing

      Tattoos & Trees

      True story:

      About ten years ago (+\- five years) and yet another fifteen years prior to that.  This will make sense for you, (the readership in a few moments… hang in there..  I promise.  Trust me.

      I traveled to Arizona for a visit with my grandparents, sister and mother.  It was time to find a full service, independent living, facility for my grandparents.

      The three of us toured a few facilities each day until we found our ideal space for the distinguished Patriarch and Matriarch of my mothers’ side of the family.  It took a lot of convincing to get them to see it, much less than the actual move from their condo to a facility we chose.

      It was nice.  They allowed my grandparents’ cats, furniture and even had it’s own kitchen.  The forms were signed.  Their condo was up for sale and I had to get back to Michigan.

      ~~~~~~

      Within a couple of months I got a call from my sister.  She wanted to get a Tigger tattoo and wanted my opinion.  I have a tattoo on my hip bone of Opus the Penguin.  I got it when I was seventeen, so in my sister’s mind I must remember the experience…. eh… I didn’t.  Seventeen and tattoos were common in my generation; remembering the details, not so much.

      Opus the Penguin

      I did my best to explain it to her, but jeez that was fifteen years ago.

      After many months of looking she decided to bring the multitudes of Tigger to a top three.  In this process she had found a few other ideas that would be good on me and my mother.

      She wanted all of us to get (at least one) matching tattoos.  I laughed and questioned her rationale.

      “It would be a bonding experience.”

      Uh- No.

      Within the week I was getting pictures from my sister with a very noticeable Tigger tattoo on her calf.  She even showed it to our grandmother for review.  Apparently our grandmother approved and asked questions about it -the process, design, and pain.  She and my sister often did Tigger themed things, like this cake, for instance.

      Tigger everywhere!

      The holidays had me back in AZ later that year.  I laughed every time my sister brought up the “group tattoo idea”.  However, by then, my mom had agreed to do it. My sister must have been quite convincing.   They were going on and on about yin yang symbols, turtles, paw prints, etc.  I was still holding firm on my “No.”

      I had underestimated my sister because the day after Christmas she admitted something…

      She had a plan.

      • We all had to agree on the design and body location.
      • We had to find a clean and reputable establishment that was handicapped accessible.
      • We had to go into it with a “No Regrets” mentality.

      I was still not in love with the idea or plan.  Besides, why did it have to be handicap accessible?  So I asked.

      Wait for it….

      My sister continued, “…Grandma wants to go too.  So we will just swing by her new nursing home, check her out for the day, let her go first with her tatt, get ours, and then grab something to eat, sign her back in to the nursing home without drawing attention to ourselves and Ta Dah.  No biggie!”

      “We are NOT kidnapping Grandma, tattooing her in a handicap accessible (air quotes) tattoo parlor, having a late lunch and then sneaking her back in to her nursing home without anyone noticing ‘something different’ about Grandma.”

      “Awwww c’mon.  She really wants whatever we’re having.”
      “Are you crazy?!  No!  Soooo beyond no!  We could get in serious trouble for that.  Oh My Lord. (*sigh) Did you tell mom?”

      “She liked it.”

      Of course she did.

      This dialogue continued back and forth for quite some time -months.

      ~~~~~~

      My sister stayed on this kick for awhile and is over it now (I think).  Our grandmother passed away within a few years -tattoo free.  My mother is still tattoo free.

      Part of me wonders, did my grandmother have a seventeen year old self who always wanted a tattoo, like me? What would she have chosen at seventeen?

      I don’t doubt that she entertained the idea then, or at my sister’s plan sixty years later.  I can only fathom what 1945 art was acceptable for her standards.  She was a nurse back then.  She had seen it all, and knew the human body quite well.  She would know where we could keep it hidden and respectable.

      This past Autumn, my sister, mother and I were together again and I brought up the group tattoo idea.  We thought about it, tossed around some ideas and then got back to our independently busy lives;    somehow still remaining connected.

      Maybe the next time we get the chance I can get us all to agree on a tree.  More specifically The Tree of Life.  It would be a Family Tree of Life!


      “As above, so below”

      “The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

      Acceptance, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Captain Obvious, Cleanliness, Control, Crap!, Cry, Darwinist, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Growth, Hashimotos, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Literary Devices, Logic, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Me, Mess, Minimal, Mirrors, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Naturalist, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paranoid?, Past, Pets, Play nice, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Soul, Tears 😭, Two Sides, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

      Be Gentle With Yourself.

      The title of this post references one of my favorite pieces of writing, The Desiderata.  No one can confirm or deny the author and date of publication, but I don’t think that I would have it differently regardless of those details.  

      I have not heeded it’s simple words.  

      I am not gentle with myself.  I am cruel, degrading and relentless in my mind to myself.   

      ~~~~~

      True story:  I received a compliment from a retail worker.  (She claims that I always wear the cutest tops.). I was in a gourmet cupcake shoppe.  I smiled at her, thanked her, and then in the same tone of voice -calm, quiet, sweet, and said “I hate myself actually, mostly my body.  I shop for tops all of the time.  My arms are the worst.  So I try to only get 3/4 length sleeves… 

      It took a few more moments of drivel before I noticed her again.  I had gone inside myself and starting pointing to various areas of imperfection; kind of like a flight attendant pointing out emergency exits.  

      Back to reality.  She was still there and I was honestly surprised that she hadn’t moved on to another customer.  I didn’t say all of that to garner an unearned second compliment.  Which is good because I think she was too surprised with my response, she didn’t know what to say.  I smiled, lowered my head to acknowledge that days’ blouse.  

      I apologized for the commentary and reached for my cupcake.  Which, by the way, I had lost interest in.  It was only going to make things worse.  

      (Why is this blue?)

      ~~~~~

      See what I mean about failing to be gentle with myself?    I’m pretty sure that I had offended her and quickly added that to my self degradation list.  (Loser, quit offending nice people).

      I don’t have some awful sin to atone.  I just said what I was thinking and am always thinking.  I have to be more careful in the future with this type of situation.  I would rather fix my response than use that energy on accepting myself.  Oh the irony.

      Does everyone else do this too?  You know, hate themselves 24/7?  Is there a brain cell that allows this?  Is it a depression thing?  How about female?  Maybe a need for perfection sets me off.

      ~~~~~~~~

      Today I was trying to laminate a card with packaging tape so that I could hang it up somewhere…  I wanted it to be in it’s original state for as long as possible.  But the stupid tape wasn’t very cooperative.   Here I am, trying to get control of the tape and it sticks to the card all weird.  Bubbles, creases, imperfect lines which show overlapping.  I could just kick myself.  The oh-so precious card wasn’t perfect anymore.  I had screwed that up too.  Upon closer inspection I noticed that there is black dog hair stuck too.  Check it out…

      Perfect -Ha!

      Curious about the front of the card?  I mean, it mattered so much that I was trying to preserve it…

      My favorite part 🎀

      See?  I told you I messed it up.  Again with irony.  (*sigh)

      Creases and tears in the tape.  It will never be perfect now.  Which is okay -for a card, right?

      I love her!
      Black Pug -fur shedder.


      Acceptance, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Books, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Judge & Jury, Learning, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Warmth, Windows, Wow, Writing

      🕶 Summer 2017 👒

      The skies are blue with white clouds, the wind is in the tops of the trees, and the scent of freshly mowed grass floats through the air.


      I can be found outside to absorb Vitamin D more often.  I often go for drives in my 1999 Mazda Miata (top down, radio up.) singing my heart out.  I can enjoy the scenery when I take my dogs on walks.  I could go for bike rides with my husband.  I could follow through with plans or have a summer job for extra money.  But I’m not doing any of these things.  I can hope that all of this will play out next summer or the summer after that.  I will be ok, just not today.


      I am spending this summer filling out forms.  Forms?  Yes, forms.  Being in my condition, I have a lot to “prove” to people, I guess.  I have forms for Student Loans, Social Security, Insurance Companies, Appointments to keep from each groups’ Independent Medical Reviews.  My years worth of forms is not helping to remove my carbon footprint.

      So if you get the chance to capture some Vitamin D, walk your dog, drive your convertible and go for bike/ horse rides, do it.   Do it for everyone who can’t, right now.  Enjoy the outside and stay “form-free”.  Don’t pick up a writing utensil or hide behind a screen of any sort.  Mind your manners.  Eat full-fat ice cream … on a WAFFLE CONE! 

      Most of all… 

      Enjoy the Summer of 2017. 👒