It’s tough to watch
And I wonder
The USA Education
is a bust today.
But, can everyone
say “I did my best”?
We know about
the original policies,
And we see the one
room school houses
The latest policies
and real academics
have no place
and have since eased,
We teach to
number 2 pencils✏️
and a bunch of
Teachers and staff
And yet, parents
want/ need someone to blame.
All of this is tiresome
and gets under my skin,
My mind can only see
the Federally banned novel📚
by Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (‘s)
It’s not the guns,🔫
or violent games,🕹
It’s the kids📰
always pushing the limits
and the relentless
for their rights
Therefore, empty threats,
and the fears
of what a child may claim
to law enforcement
and be separated
for years and years.
We all need to stand up,
learn the word “No“,
have powerful support⚙️
and scream “Enough!”
The USA Dept. of Education
needs a major
Artificial Intelligence (A.I.),
However, staying out of touch,
ignoring the confrontation,
being politically correct,
loses the purpose
of the brick & mortar,
Community, safe place.
All of this
Really puts today’s students
into a decision:
real life vs. hell?
I am aghast
at the thought
of arming school staff,
We have classes of 40+ students now.
All hyped up on sugar
and shots of caf (feine)…
I was brought up
in a different time.
Now it’s too easy to get lost
& feel contempt,
toward those who take
the class down.
This is NOT
what I went to college for.
So this retired
Kindergarten, Grades 7-12 Teacher
With the U.S. Dept. of Education
to stop putting the future
in our past,
It doesn’t belong there.
This and those
that one kid
who got lost
and allowed the hate
Won’t accept any blame.
Because it’s tough out there.
The attention and fame,
Are all sudden,
Fifteen minutes of fame
The media’s view above
cannot be beat.
The echoes of Sirens will
sound up and down
⚡️👩🏼💻👨🏻💻 🌎🧝🏼♀️🧝🏽♂️⚡️🤼♂️🗽 🏰⚔️⚖️
You know that old joke about Country Music? The one that goes “What happens when you play a Country song backwards? He gets his job back. He gets his truck back. He gets his dog back. Oh! Annnddd, he gets a contract for his songs!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Everyone laughs.
Cue tacky twang, I’ve got a good one.
(Given that it’s Christmas Eve I’ll see what Andy Williams has going on.)
It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!
With the kids snowmobiling,
And everyone telling you,
“Watch out for deeeeeeeeer!”
It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!
It’s the sa- saddest season of all.
With those doctor appointment calls,
And tons of blood work
Without real answers at alllllll
It’s the sa-saddest season of all.
There were dreams we were living,
Pugs and pets we were loving
Money for spending
on travels for stories of glories
With projects we’re working onnnnnn
2017 had us jumping and begging
The vet bill was crazy
My baby girl pug passed away
My dream career (not just a job) is done
Student loans are threatening
SSA-Disability is on government vacation
My eye glasses broke on a holiday weekend.
It the worst, worst 2017 of all.
Well? Is this properly pouty and pessimistic?
The thing is, I can’t cry anymore. I am So. Far. Gone. it’s pathetic! I have to laugh at each “problem” when it pops up. This makes me look crazy. And that is ok.
I still think that if everyone in the world was given a puppy and a Coke, we could sing a song and hold hands with whomever we choose and the world would be a happy place.
Or, maybe I just need a day of The Hallmark Channel with feel good shows and movies. 😬. “Jesus, take the wheel”.
“… Does anyone here feel like their thyroid disease might be connected to dysfunction of their throat chakra? Reason I ask….like many people, I have suffered abuse in my life, and wonder if the inability to speak about the abuse is one of the reasons why this autoimmune disease has manifested at my throat chakra/thyroid…”
It’s been awhile since I’ve written for you. I apologize. I’m not living the dream, I assure you. However I am always thankful for my family and friends.
I married my husband back in 2005. It was beautiful. It was a beach wedding and we pretty much wrote down our own vows and chose Lake Huron as our landscape. The officiating wedding pastors had recommended that we should look at a book of wedding quotes.
For some reason I was drawn to the word dance. So when I wrote my vows I wanted him to know that my energy and expression were going to be a dance.
A dance for life, joy, memories and even the not so good stuff. I was classically trained in Jazz and Ballet; but my dances were designed to have no script.
I hadn’t been able to find the DVD that it was on… I finally found it in a cleaning of epic proportions.
The past two years are perfect for the The Flight of the Bumblebee. (Rimsky-Korsakov). A whole lot of rebuilding my new normal, appointments, pokes and prods, and confusion. I sank into such a depression so fast– (quicksand really) there was nothing in my eyes, no spark, smile, or brightness. I have been empty inside and metaphorically chasing my tail.
The hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s were already physically draining; my emotional distress left me in dark rooms with dark circles under my eyes.
Needless to say, dancing wasn’t exactly on my To Do list. So what did I mean when I wrote those vows in 2005?
I believe my inspiration for dancing was from Songwriter(s): Mark D. Sanders, Tia Sillers Artist: Lee Ann Womack “I Hope You Dance”.
Song: via VEVO
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean (Lake Huron)
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’
Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’
Don’t let some broken heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)
Written by Tia Sillers, Mark Sanders • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
Remember that song? It came out about 15-20 years ago. I need to dance again. I want this to be my dance. I want this to be my husband’s dance. I want to go through this life dancing with my husband. I want to dance with my family and friends.
So said, so it shall be. Forgive me if I step on your toes.
Given my current situation, I decided to try to find a Physician who is informed, specialized in, and was challenge worthy of curing what ails me. I have been filling out forms galore! I went through one entire Health Park and one Internal Medicine Hospital.
Let’s see, I have traveled all over my state in the USA. The money for fuel, hotels, dinner, co-pays, prescriptions, job loss and overall mental stress is not what I am upset about. That’s just collateral damage. One’s Health is priceless. So I pushed from one end to the other of specialists, general, and …
Well, you name it, I was there. Husband in hand. Mother as a barracuda. Even a very close friend from work -all to be my “Rock”. I am always thankful to them. ❤️
My research is self-sustaining (when I don’t have brain fog, or a headache, or simply exhausted). It is also self-torture. I have gone through Social Media, Libraries and Journals.
I know a lot about Hypothyroidism. Throw some Auto Immune Disease in there too. Oops, don’t forget the Hashimoto’s Disease, Migraines, Hormonal Imbalances, Anxiety, Depression, Hopelessness, PTSD, Seizures, Food Intolerances, hair loss, Vertigo and Concussions due to falling. have had all of these symptoms/experiences in the past four years. This past year January 1, 2016 through today my “experiences” have become a million
times worse than when all of this started.
Kinda Cool Part<<<<<
ed that blood tests are not really necessary in my case, because they don’t test the cells which make up the body. The cells which make us human don’t get tested. Blood does. Thus getting a normal lab result is counter-intuitive to discovering the cause of my woes.
, I was declined by both attempts of becoming a patient of an Internal Medicine Hospital as well as the ENTIRE Health Park. Hmmmm. As Shakespeare would say, “Much Ado About Nothing”.
paign called “The Broken Brain” by Dr. Hyman. I watched the trailer, then I signed up for the free online Docu-series. There are eight episodes and over fifty doctors who attest to the information presented:
“With 1.1 BILLION lives compromised by brain issues EVERY day, I know this documentary series will provide vital new information, expert connections and most of all, hope.”
e wellness center in MA. They don’t accept insurance. They charge approximately $10,000.00 for their two days of service.
The similar wellness clinic in my state (as there are many centers across the country) also does not take insurance either.
o an article I read this evening, those involved were exasperated and out of money. You should read it. Alas, they have hope!
I like how the author states “When one doctor or specialist had tried everything in his or her repertoire, we’d move on to someone else.After enough traditional doctors couldn’t dial her health in, we eventually moved on to alternative doctors and treatments – chiropractic, acupuncture, herbal supplements, meditation, and on and on…”That’s (This is) the reality (body image, weight gain) for some women. With multiple issues and body systems affecting each other and playing off each other, it can be pretty challenging to get everything into balance.blockquote>We found that this condition involved so much more than just physiology. So many elements played into this diagnosis – it was about stress, food, lifestyle, belief systems, relationships and more.We have spent the last 20 years, and almost $300,000, diving deep into this dis-ease. <<<<<<<<<
ut my future, as well as my husband and family’s future. Watch the attached video shared from YouTube. It’s thought provoking. I may not have a cure or a new place to dig in and research, but I have hope (kinda, sorta, maybe; depends on the day).
How do you explain
Butterflies in your tummy?
Or how you just know
That it’s all going to be ok?
How do you accept an unexpected
loss which shatters your soul?
Why didn’t you know?
The title of this post references one of my favorite pieces of writing, The Desiderata. No one can confirm or deny the author and date of publication, but I don’t think that I would have it differently regardless of those details.
I have not heeded it’s simple words.
I am not gentle with myself. I am cruel, degrading and relentless in my mind to myself.
True story: I received a compliment from a retail worker. (She claims that I always wear the cutest tops.). I was in a gourmet cupcake shoppe. I smiled at her, thanked her, and then in the same tone of voice -calm, quiet, sweet, and said “I hate myself actually, mostly my body. I shop for tops all of the time. My arms are the worst. So I try to only get 3/4 length sleeves…
It took a few more moments of drivel before I noticed her again. I had gone inside myself and starting pointing to various areas of imperfection; kind of like a flight attendant pointing out emergency exits.
Back to reality. She was still there and I was honestly surprised that she hadn’t moved on to another customer. I didn’t say all of that to garner an unearned second compliment. Which is good because I think she was too surprised with my response, she didn’t know what to say. I smiled, lowered my head to acknowledge that days’ blouse.
I apologized for the commentary and reached for my cupcake. Which, by the way, I had lost interest in. It was only going to make things worse.
(Why is this blue?)
See what I mean about failing to be gentle with myself? I’m pretty sure that I had offended her and quickly added that to my self degradation list. (Loser, quit offending nice people).
I don’t have some awful sin to atone. I just said what I was thinking and am always thinking. I have to be more careful in the future with this type of situation. I would rather fix my response than use that energy on accepting myself. Oh the irony.
Does everyone else do this too? You know, hate themselves 24/7? Is there a brain cell that allows this? Is it a depression thing? How about female? Maybe a need for perfection sets me off.
Today I was trying to laminate a card with packaging tape so that I could hang it up somewhere… I wanted it to be in it’s original state for as long as possible. But the stupid tape wasn’t very cooperative. Here I am, trying to get control of the tape and it sticks to the card all weird. Bubbles, creases, imperfect lines which show overlapping. I could just kick myself. The oh-so precious card wasn’t perfect anymore. I had screwed that up too. Upon closer inspection I noticed that there is black dog hair stuck too. Check it out…
Curious about the front of the card? I mean, it mattered so much that I was trying to preserve it…
See? I told you I messed it up. Again with irony. (*sigh)
Creases and tears in the tape. It will never be perfect now. Which is okay -for a card, right?
I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses. I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.
Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻🏫👩🏼⚕️👨🏼💻👩🏻🏫👩🎤👮🏻👯♂️
For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.
She goes on to write, “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.
In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”
My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.
Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.” It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013. It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism. She was speaking my language.
💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes. 👺
I experienced Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass through removal of a portion of the stomach (sleeve gastrectomy or biliopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch) or by resecting and re-routing the small intestine to a small stomach pouch.
I needed to be smaller than I was. I had a great job, my own apartment, a strong family, a very nice Infinity QX4. Life was grand, until I opened my mouth to eat. You see, in 2000, I was diagnosed as being morbidly obese. I think that my BMI was in the 40’s.
My last year of undergrad was interesting. I had my first real relationship, student teaching and no cash. So I ate the cheap food from gas stations, dollar stores, and CostCo. Bulk was definitely the way to go. By the year 2000, I was going to end up with diabetes and heart disease.
The gossip magazine’s were all doting on Carney Wilson of Wilson Philips. She had an “Easy surgery and the fat just melted off of her”. No pills, drinks, fad diets or exercise programs ever again. Hey I can handle that!
I got the surgery in October of 2001 -insurance companies are just so easygoing (*Sarcasm). I laid on my dad’s couch for two weeks and followed the new diets prescribed by my surgeon. (Clear liquid, regular liquids, soft solids, and then in 6 months normal food, just in very small amounts. My stomach was now the size of an egg. The pounds were indeed melting off. I ended up losing 150 lbs in less than a year.
The fact that I loved smoothies and coffee; the ideal weight loss was fairly easy to maintain. I would drink Protein shakes from the local GNC, drank the Jamba Juice’s “Mocha Moo’s” with extra protein powder, and Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. I never bothered with cooking. My idea of cooking was making a pb&j (if I really had to). I took my dog for walks, farther and farther as weeks went by.
I started going to “clubs” within the very end of my first year. It didn’t matter which génère the music was. I just wanted to dance and feel the rhythm of it all. I felt alive.
After the six months, I had a calzone (black olive, mushrooms, ham, and extra cheese). Mmmm. It was really good. I needed a whole week to finish one… but I didn’t care. Dancing on the weekends would burn off the calzone calories.
I moved out of my home state and started a new life with my (then) boyfriend, (now) husband, in a new state 2003. Alas, as I have mentioned in other posts, my new “home” was missing out on Jamba Juice chain stores and Starbucks (Coffee Shops). I went through withdrawals.
I was definitely depressed (whenever I had a craving for a Mocha Moo) . And since I’m an emotional eater, I ate. I started with the homemade food at the school, where I taught. That led to eating solid food everywhere! I even got cooking lessons with, like, a real chef person!
It was getting harder and harder to maintain the ideal weight/ BMI. This means that I was gaining the weight back. I honestly believed that the operation was to essentially banish the ability to gain weight. Yet, here I sit, knowing it is possible. Luckily I have plateaued at a number I can live with.
I often wonder if the Bariatric Surgery has/ had something to do with the Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s, Adrenal Fatigue, etc. that I am going through now.