Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bills, bills, bills, Cleanliness, Coke, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Future, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Hashimotos, Hat, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Life, Love, Magic, Manager, Me, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Moving On, My bad!, Nap, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pets, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Play It Backwards

You know that old joke about Country Music? The one that goes “What happens when you play a Country song backwards? He gets his job back. He gets his truck back. He gets his dog back. Oh! Annnddd, he gets a contract for his songs!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Everyone laughs.

Cue tacky twang, I’ve got a good one.

(Given that it’s Christmas Eve I’ll see what Andy Williams has going on.)

Ahem.

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

With the kids snowmobiling,

And everyone telling you,

“Watch out for deeeeeeeeer!”

It’s the worst, awfulest time of the year!

~

It’s the sa- saddest season of all.

With those doctor appointment calls,

And tons of blood work

Without real answers at alllllll

It’s the sa-saddest season of all.

~

There were dreams we were living,

Pugs and pets we were loving

Money for spending

on travels for stories of glories

With projects we’re working onnnnnn

~

2017 had us jumping and begging

The vet bill was crazy

My baby girl pug passed away

My dream career (not just a job) is done

Student loans are threatening

SSA-Disability is on government vacation

My eye glasses broke on a holiday weekend.

It the worst, worst 2017 of all.

Well? Is this properly pouty and pessimistic?

The thing is, I can’t cry anymore. I am So. Far. Gone. it’s pathetic! I have to laugh at each “problem” when it pops up. This makes me look crazy. And that is ok.

I still think that if everyone in the world was given a puppy and a Coke, we could sing a song and hold hands with whomever we choose and the world would be a happy place.

Or, maybe I just need a day of The Hallmark Channel with feel good shows and movies. 😬. “Jesus, take the wheel”.

"The Ron Y Chromosome Nothing Box", 26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Alice Hoffman, Angels, Another Difranco, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Baseball, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Growth, Guns, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

When?

How do you explain 

     Butterflies in your tummy?

Or how you just know 

     That it’s all going to be ok?

How do you accept an unexpected 

     loss which shatters your soul?

Why didn’t you know?

—–

26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

Planning, Hoping & Fumes

I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.


Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.


You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”


My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.


So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Awkward, Candy, Cheetos, Click, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Crap!, Cry, Death, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Glimmer, Growth, Husband, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Life, Life changes, Logic, Manager, Me, Mess, Moving On, Oops!, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Shattered, Silence, Skull, Snow, Soul, Sun, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, Wow, Writing

Odds: Six:One 

I have worked for SIX, yes, six principals and there is one who stands out the most.  It isn’t because he was Math and I am English.  It isn’t because he knows my husband and they have mutual friends.  I enjoyed him the most for his colloquial trivia.

For example, one morning he was standing in the main office and called me in…  “Mrs.  Ellsworth will know the answer, I just know it. ”

     “Uh-oh.”  There were other teachers standing in there too.  Jeez he stumped them too.  “Is it one of those logic questions again?  I don’t do logic.”

     “Nope, it’s about shopping for fruits.”

     “Okay, try me.”  

He rubbed his hands together and he had a sparkle in his eyes.  I started to sweat.  He took a deep breath and began “Out of the top three selling fruits, you have five apples and seven oranges.  What does that leave you with?”

My mind was spinning.  I took a deeper breath and looked around to my co-workers.  No one attempted to help me…  “That’s it?”

     “That’s it!”

     “Obviously, it leaves me with eleven errr, ummm, grapes!”  

     “Nooooo, where did you get grapes?”

     “The Fruit Section.  Ok, what’s the correct answer?”

     “BANANAS!”

     “How many bananas?”

      “Eleven”

     “What am I going to do with eleven bananas?”      

     “What are you going to do with eleven grapes?!”  He was (sarcastically) huffing and disappointed.

      “Eat them, in one sitting.  Why did you pick bananas?  I figure it could have been any thing as long as you followed the Prime Number listing-thingy.  Right?”

     “Bananas are one of the top three fresh fruits.  Where do you shop?  Jeez….”


I rolled my eyes, while saying “I guess…”. 

He tossed me a mini Milky Way, and I went to my classroom.  My thoughts were on the popularity of bananas vs. grapes.  (And undoing the wrapper of the Milky Way.). Oh well.  Time to teach!

This particular principal was one of a kind (in my world).  He honored my request for Teddy bear pancakes during Staff Breakfast Potlucks…


He was notorious for taking the heat out of any argument at school.  He would say,  “There are two sides to a pancake and whatever is in the middle is the problem (gooey and shapeless).  Is it worth fighting for?  Think about it for a few minutes.  

Really consider it, do you guys need me to get involved as well as your parents?”  

Damned if it didn’t work!  I liked joking around with that Principal.  He was chivalrous and full of random trivia.  He respected me and vice-versa.  


Another example:  He answered the school office phone when the local Veterinarian called, he said that I was in class and that she could leave me a message…  It turned out that  my new kitten died in surgery.  

He knew that I would be devastated when I found out.  He called my husband; called a sub in to cover my classes.  When a familiar face who subs in emergencies walked in, and my husband was waiting in the hallways to escort me to the office, I had no idea what it was about.   Thank God I saw my husband-he had ridden his motorcycle to work… My mind and breath began to even out again.

 I saw my Principal’s face, my husband stepped to the area of the Principal and softly told me what the Veterinarian told him.  My husband caught me just in time and brought me home.

~~~~~~~

He not only knew me, he understood me.  Don’t get me wrong, he had his personal life issues, but the professional Principal who I worked with, was a wise and kind soul.  I notice that I used some of his “trusty stand by statements” which made more sense –than what I would love to scream at people.

He taught me a lot.  I learned about my weaknesses and strengths.  I learned some things that were math specific.  I also learned how to read people via their body language.

He’s retired now and lives in a different town.  We run in different circles now.   He may not take credit for these things; but this is my side of the pancake.