The Pink Lady Gets A Wake Up Call

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Autoimmune diseases, Education, Future, Hashimotos, Hypothyroidism, Judge & Jury, Life, Life changes, Not worth the headache, Wow

7-13-19: Just the Other Day

I went to an Endocrinologist for an establishment appt. and he tried to convince me that my prior diagnosis’s were all incorrect. I was so angry 😤.

I have years and documents from other doctors and professionals which back up my hypotheses of having Hypothyroidism, Hashimoto’s Disease, Adrenal Fatigue and Autoimmune Disease.

One of my favorite doctors told me “You know, sometimes the rules just don’t apply.” when my bloodwork came back as “normal”.

The only normal I can believe in is my Maytag Dryer setting.

At least I know my body better than that guy seemed to assume he did.

I just feel bad for other folks who get misdiagnosed all the time, hence not getting what they really need. Ya know?

My book The Pink Lady Gets A Wake Up Call addresses this conundrum.

Doesn’t it make you wonder where and why the education of the doctors who are giving the misdiagnosed really come from? Which type of rock do they thrive under?! It makes me wonder.


Yesterday -Just One Of Many Lately

6/12/19 Yesterday

Yesterday was quite the adventure for me. I had an appointment downstate with a doctor and it was set for 3:15 pm.

It didn’t matter whatever else got done, as long as I could get to my doctor appointment on time. With a two hour drive to get there, and my disdain for early mornings. I knew the window of wiggle room was between nine am and eleven am. Lunch was it’s own “must have” somewhere within this day.

So off we went! South again! We stopped in two towns for little “pop-in’s” before the rest of the drive became a blur of blacktop and trees. (I spy…. vertical log. Tree! Okay, your turn).

First, Oscoda! Need sustenance. McDonalds will do.

Second. Tawas. I like a certain flavor of Jelly Belly and The Village Chocolatier carries the individual flavors for some jelly beans that I wanted.

Next, Standish. I had the pleasure of meeting the Shopper and self described “fluffer” of stuff for the Forward Corporation in Standish. She was super nice. I tried convincing her to buy my book to carry at her gas stations. Then I found out she’s part of the fourth generation of that corporation and does more than just “fluff”. We’re still looking into adding my book to their inventory.

Next stop, The Electric Chair tattoo and body piercings in Bay City. Naturally Charlotte was with us and it was too hot to keep her in the car, we all went inside.

For a bunch of burly, stereotypical men and women, one little pooch can sure make a difference in the atmosphere. She was quite the star. Anyway, I got a new piece of jewelry and we were on our way.

Starbucks. Enough said.

If you don’t know me, Starbucks is my kryptonite. If you do know me, venti caramel macchiato.


My appointment.


It’s time to go home, but now I’m hot, and uncomfortable. It’s muggy and 80°+ and the windows in the car do little to block the sun.

I’d guess 75% of folks would be comfortable in that scenario. But not my body! No way! I know this because I had a bit of a “spell” by four pm.

I hate to sweat, but I was sweating. I hate to feel out of sorts, but there was no semblance to what my twitching, head bobbing, speech slurring and overall “out of it” countenance was doing.

Maybe I had done too much.

Maybe I hadn’t had the right kind of fuel.

Maybe it was just too humid.

Maybe it was because it was a Tuesday, in June. I don’t know.

I just don’t know. This is what makes traveling or planning anything almost impossible. My body is so random at what it will cooperate for that I hate making plans, or leaving my lair for any length of time.

It’s been twelve hours and I feel like a whole other body or person now. But I’m at home in my air conditioning, next to my husband, in bed.

I just don’t know what else I can do to find the place in my life that will let me feel normal again. I’m discouraged, disappointed and hurt. I’m not living right now.


Gypsy Goddess Fest 2019


Chesaning, MI

My overwhelming question for this past weekend is, was it worth it? And to that I have to say yes. I learned so much about what to bring expect and prepare for. Ya know?



1. Help.

2. Extension cords.

3. Electric plugins (both pronged and usb)

4. WiFi of your own somehow. We relied on my mothers mifi pack.

5. Square credit card processors

6. Something to do. The flow of the customers isn’t always “there” so find a way to be busy. (Crafters were making more of their wares to fill up their inventory.)

7. Water. Keep hydrated.

8. Decor. Keep it classy though. Sometimes too much is just too much.

9. Product cleaner. No one likes a dirty or dusty piece. Keep those doo-dads sparkling!


A. Anything and everything.

B. Weather. We had torrential downpour and then beautiful breezes. Luckily we were indoors but when others get wet, your stuff gets wet. It can also cause humidity and warmth that you just can’t breathe through.

C. Rare and odd pieces for sale. I saw a full coyote face stretched out over a vintage ladies cap from the 1920’s. Very scary.

I bought a drum, necklace, backpack and body spray.

D. The kindness of strangers. There were so many different times that I was able to count on the the honesty and care of strangers. I started to feel sick in a quick downward spiral and the next thing you know, people came out of no where to find me water and give me a bathroom break, manage my booth and give me a smile.

E. Different payment methods. Some by credit. Some by cash. Some by product trade. Some by candy. Regardless it opens up a whole new world of conversation for you.

F. In my case, prepare to learn a lot. Learn about electric engineering. How to dry things off that have been saturated with coffee. Learn about the importance of scissors, fishing line, tape, and zip ties.

G. Certain types of massages are better than others. As long as your body is ready for the Toxin Dump. I had a great spiritual Etheric Massage and it sent me zinging! Oh boy did I zing! And then the toxins she released started to zing. There was a potty break immediately after. And then within three hours, there was a very necessary ride back to the hotel.

H. Being ignored, humored and used for your blinky rings. Neither of these reflect on a book about Hashimoto’s and Hypothyroidism.

I. No matter where you are, after you have explained everything to the nth degree; you risk having them say “ oh, hunh. Thanks.” And walks away. It it a bad idea to fall to your knees and grab onto their knees while begging “ Why?! Don’t you want to buy my ___________?!” Or growl as they walk away. First of all, they may have a friend hanging out in the back ground watching your response who is all too eager to “tell” on you. Bottom line, be resilient. Smile. Think to yourself it’s ok. Their truth might be different than yours and they just need some time to process your truth.

When it’s all said and done make sure that your helpers know how much you appreciate them and all that they did for you.


Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Air Conditioner, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bare, Brat, Captain Obvious, Cleanliness, Control, Cost, Crap!, Death, Education, Empty, Fate, Future, Growth, Hashimotos, Hat, Husband, Hypothyroidism, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Mess, Mom, Moving On, My bad!, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Past, Play nice, Present, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Scorpio, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Soul, Sun, Sweat 💦, Uncategorized, Unconditional, Warmth, Windows, Wow

Flower Beds

I’ve always loved flowers.

As I have rolled myself into “adulthood”,  I have discovered that I prefer flowers in their semi-natural beds.  A lot of people, and I mean A LOT of people, in my town, are Master Gardeners. I figured that growing my own flowers would be a nice hobby.

Plus, I would have a reason to go outside and get my Vitamin D too. Win, win!

I decided to try gardening.  The key word here is try.

I now understand why gardeners threaten trespassers with their lives. The frustration and anger of one little, beautiful and helpless flower being stepped on is a legitimate defense – or at least it should be.

Dear Master Gardeners, I apologize for dancing on your Daffodils and ignoring the placement of your Irises.

Day One:  First we (me, husband, mother). had to weed and Roto-till the spaces for the separate areas for the different beds. Within ten minutes we voted and all chipped in to hire the neighbor kid to do it. He did. Whew!

Day Two:  Cover all exposed areas with black paper…. “hey neighbor!”

Day Three:  My mother came over to help me roll out pre-seeded lavender bed rolls ordered from Groupon. I supposedly had 50,000 seeds so at least one seedling had to work.

Create amazing decor for the flower beds: ummm… skip.

Maintenance: Keep checking on the Groupon guaranteed Rolls. Luckily I could look into my garden from the air conditioned living room to check on it daily.

Water: We still have our timer from Christmas lights, that will work. Or so I thought… Ok not really… my garden was flooded by; oh I’d say five days into this. We now had quicksand.

I could see the neighbor kids’ foot prints in the sand puddling with water. I simply needed to turn off the timer… Done.

It was supposed to be a very rainy week anyway.

Weeds: The weeds grew and grew. They were taller than me and had nothing to do with or about the water or lavender.

I have NOT seen even one plant of my Groupon 💯 guarantee. My neighbor kid is going to be so mad when he comes back from Boot Camp!

All involved read the directions from Groupon carefully…

My mother and I re-read the directions… no lavender.

  • <<<<<<<<<<
    hoped that there would be a “💥🌿🌱💜 Sea Of Lavender 💥 💜 🌿🌱💥 ” in my garden, and it was going to be beautiful. Alas no purple waves, no sea, no see.
      • I waited.
      • I watched.
      • I asked people who had lavender.
      • I traveled to the other side of the state, with my mother to go to a Certified Lavender Farm!
      • I read books 📚.
      • I had it all planned!
      • Would you believe that there isn’t anything resembling lavender in their area???
      • There’s nothing!
      • What did I do wrong??

      Well… it wasn’t until I realized that I physically couldn’t do much more than trap my neighbor kid, tell him how sick I am, get him to do the hard stuff, and then flood everything while he was in boot camp; that maybe I was a bit overzealous about my new hobby.

      I couldn’t muster up the energy to be a gardener. I am just too sensitive to temperatures, brightness, bug bites, bending over and everything it takes to grow flowers purposefully.

      I had one job. One ☝️. Discover and create a beautiful garden. I failed. My husband knew how upsetting it was for me. He took me to the cute little store in Bay City and I found a bunch of fake flowers (lavender of course) to purchase and enjoy at home.

      Sometimes mental health is brushed aside when a physical task fails. I mean, who goes through the fuss and anticipation of a project wanting to be a failure? It’s a tough pill to swallow. His actions, my mom’s help and of course the neighbor kid were here working their butts off because my symptoms made me miserable while the heat only exasperated them. They did all of that in my best interest. So Thank You!

      I guess my body health (brain included) needs some more time to hopefully heal. When it will let me know; remains to be seen.

      Awkward, Click, Control, Empty, Fate, Hashimotos, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Life, Life changes, Love, Me, Nothing, Past, Senses, Silence, Soul, Windows

      Do You Believe Me Now?

      “She sits down and stares into the distance, and it takes all night.  And I know I could break her concentration, But it don’t feel right.”   –Her Diamonds 💎 

      I have moments of wonderful clarity.

      Where I am totally still-  physically,

      but my mind knows everything around me.

      Down to the smallest speck.


      Sometimes I try so hard

      To remember my words when my [brain]

      holds them so }tight{

      That I say the wrong thing just to make you      know it’ll come to me <<

      maybe you will help me fill in the wrong to make it right.


      "How do you feel today?”<<
      hat sounds good to you? Anything?”

      “I can barely hear you, what did you say?”

      “I already told you. Do you really not remember?”


      This is hard for you.

      You want to help, but don’t know where to begin.

      Sometimes this feels like it’s all or nothing.





      Other times I pretend that I don’t.


      Do you miss her -the other me?

      Was she easier to read?

      Was she never home or around?

      Did she never require your assistance?

      Could her laugh be heard in echoes far away?

      Could she lift her eyes to yours?

      Do you pray for her now

      to just come back home?

      ould you believe that she misses you too?

      Things are so different now.

      You are.

      She is.

      No one knew.  How could they?


      I have moments of wonderful clarity.

      Where I am totally still-   physically,

      but my mind knows everything around me.

      Down to the smallest speck


      “…oh what the he11” she said, “I just can’t win for losing,” And she lays back down. Man there’s so many times I don’t know what I’m doing, like I don’t know now.” -Her Diamonds 💎 

      26 letters, Acceptance, Agree to disagree, Angels, Attitude, Autoimmune diseases, Awkward, Bai, Bare, Beach Glass, Bills, bills, bills, Black, Books, Brat, Calculating, Candy, Captain Obvious, Car, Cheetos, Cleanliness, Click, Coke, College, Come to Jesus, Control, Cost, Crap!, Cry, Cups, Darwinist, Dean Koontz, Death, Diets, Education, Empty, Fate, Food, Football 🏈, Fur-ever, Future, Galileo, Gas Card, Gene Wilder, George Carlin, Glass, Glimmer, Hashimotos, Hat, Hot! Hot! Hot!, Husband, Hypothyroidism, I miss him, Idiosyncrasy, Judge & Jury, Kitten, Learning, Libra, Life, Life changes, Light, Lion, Literary Devices, Logic, Long Distance, Love, Magic, Magnifying, Manager, Marriage, Me, Medicinal Metaphor, Mess, Minimal, MiniMart, Mirrors, Mocha, Mom, Moon, Morel mushrooms, Moving On, Mutt, My bad!, Nap, NASCAR 🏎, Naturalist, Noise Canceling Headphones, Not worth the headache, Nothing, Oops!, Organized, Overheated, Paid, Paranoid?, Parents, Past, Pepsi, Perfect Pair of Jeans, Pets, Pinkdom, Play nice, Playlist, Present, Purses, Quirk, Rationale, Relentless, Respect, Robin Williams, Room 406, Rose, SALE /not sale, Scorpio, Scott Stabille, Scrutiny, Senses, Shattered, Silence, Sisters, Skeleton, Skull, Snapple, Sneaky, Snow, Socks, Soul, Sun, Sunflower seeds, Sunrises, Sunsets, Superstition, Sweat 💦, Teaching, Tears 😭, Telepathy, Tradition!, Trees, Two Sides, Type A, Type B, Unconditional, Veterinarian, Warmth, White, Windows, Wow, Writing

      Planning, Hoping & Fumes

      I think that I have a friend or two who genuinely care about me and my illnesses.  I believe that I have some acquaintances who would be certain to talk to me if we were in the same place, coincidently.

      Thanks to Pastor Trisha Peach, blog peacht, via Hypothyroid Mom, I caught a few of her comments to be very true for me, currently.

      Like this… “It makes planning nearly impossible. Many humans take for granted that they will wake up feeling “normal”, go to work, go see friends, go to their child’s sports game – same as always. 🌅👩🏻‍🏫👩🏼‍⚕️👨🏼‍💻👩🏻‍🏫👩‍🎤👮🏻👯‍♂️

      For someone battling a chronic illness, you just don’t know. Instead of “planning”, it’s more like “hoping”. You “hope” you wake up feeling ok, you “hope” you can make it through work, you “hope” you can make it through your child’s play…..and each event takes its toll on your energy and health.

      You cannot predict the day before how you will feel. So the world makes plans and prepares for events and you…..”hope” to be a part of them.”

      She goes on to write,  “It is not because you no longer care or because the event is not important to you or the person is not important to you. You are missing out because your body has given out.

      In fact, your body may be 4 or 5 events PAST too many by the time you just give out. It’s like driving a car that is running out of gas….you lasted on fumes, but finally despite all your efforts, the fumes have run out. The gas pedal is all the way to the floor, but she’s not going any further.”

      My doctor had requested some blood work from me…, which, upon return, explained a plethora of my health problems. She was speaking another language (Greek? Latin? Dr. Speak?), regardless I needed Google. And here I am. 🌎.

      Meghan O’Rourke has an essay called “I had Autoimmune Disease and then it had me.”   It was printed in The New Yorker Magazine, Aug. 26, 2013.  It came up in a Google Search for Hypothyroidism.  She was speaking my language.

      So, for my friends, I hope to keep our plans but I need to be full; not on fumes.

      💩. I don’t even like me when I’m on fumes.  👺

      Education, Hashimotos, Hypothyroidism, Teaching

      Hashimoto’s, Hypothyroidism and Autoimmune Deficiency = Me!  A High School Teacher.

      I get to navigate through a whole new experience.  I tread lightly because I really don’t know where this is going to take me.  

       I’ve always cheered for the home team or underdog.  It’s just part of my nature.  I found my calling in the field of Education  just after my sophomore year in high school.  I delved and dug.  I asked Veteran Teachers.  I asked Academic Advisers.  Everything just seemed to fall into place and point me in the direction of teaching high school English.  

      Folks already in the field told me that their profession was anything but easy.  They warned of late nights grading and weekends spent in the school building making copies and writing lesson plans.  God forbid the evenings of writing sub plans with Kleenex in one hand and a pen in the other.  It really is easier to suffer through work with the flu than writing Sub-Plans- no lie.  Public schools are full of sniffles, coughs and germs looking for new hosts.  

      All mentors conceded to “…tenure status being the saving grace in the stress of high school teaching”.  That was in 1994. 

       I graduated college with a double major in Extended-English and Secondary Education.  Somehow my first “real” job was in 1998, teaching Kindergarten… talk about runny noses and sticky hands.  This lasted for five years.  Note, this assignment was not high school nor English specific.  However it was a nice introduction to the field and I am forever grateful.  Those kids taught me a lot!

      By 2003, I was ready for the student loans to pay off -so to speak.  It’s now 2016, half way through the academic calendar and I am still fulfilling my calling.  Shakespeare, Poe, Prepositions, Diagraming Sentences, College Application Essays, Harper Lee… sigh, thump of my heart, breathe.  Yet,  I fear that it may be time to stop.  Gasp!  Nooooooooooo!

      Things are changing.  I am changing.  I struggle with being “myself”.  Simple add on to teaching duties are becoming chores and more difficult this year.  Is it age?  Is it menopause?  

      You see, three years ago I sought the advice of my local practitioner regarding the following symptoms:  fatigue, headaches, depression, anxiety, temperature hypersensitivity, lack of desire for anyone/thing.  I had a nasty run-in with hives on my upper torso and random food allergies.  She ordered the tests and my blood was drawn.

      My blood work came back to say “Help Needed!”  I was forwarded to a Endocrinologist, Psychiatrist, and Gynecologist.  But I was busy teaching, broadcasting sports events, working with students on the school yearbook and trying to be a decent daughter, wife, community member and tutor.  Something would have to give.

      On the day before Winter Break 2014, I had my first, full-scale, anxiety attack.  I was a mess.  My principal found me climbing into my desk and sobbing.  He needed to hand me a copy of my disciplinary letter.  You know.  The kind they put into a personnel folder because you screwed up.  

      I’ve NEVER, EVER gotten a reprimand before!  This was nuts.  I was losing “it” and hating myself more than usual.  My husband knew it and my students were catching “wind” of it through the daily interactions.  I had to do something.  My world was falling apart.  Why?! 

      Angry and cruel internal dialogue put me in a very dark place.  You know, the kind of place.  I made appointments and started my journey into understanding my body.

      Hashimotos disease with hypothyroidism seemed to be the one diagnosis that everyone in the medical field could agree on.  Having Autoimmune Deficiency allowed Hashimotos to hold hands with Hypothyroidism and all sorts of vitamin deficiencies.  The psychiatrist did away with my current medications and started a whole new regimen.  The Gynecologist offered ablation to help with the hormonal fluctuations and pain in being a female.  Keep in mind, this started in January of 2015.  I had to manage it all while staying committed to my teaching duties.  I did!  I was.  At least I thought I was.  I’m not.  I wasn’t.

      Instead, I am forgetful, exhausted, moody, overwhelmed, panicky, awful and lonely.  I’m afraid that I’m losing “it” and won’t be able to get “it” back.  My name is the same, but my demeanor is a whole different story.  Every blog, magazine article, medical journal, and website says the same thing… 

      This is going to hurt and it is NOT going away.

      Teaching, in and of itself, is difficult.  The stressors with the ever changing habits of teens, scoring/grading, mounting pressures from administrators, curricula, professional development, directives and testing are enough to have a perfectly healthy individual experience stress eating as well as sleep deprivation.  Imagine what it does to a person with Hashimotos Disease, Hypothyroidism plus Autoimmune Deficiency syndrome. 

      It is painful -both emotionally and physically.  Frustration and humiliation are running amok.

      I am at a loss.  I am too distraught to be sad.  I am too tired to fight.  I have lost touch with friends and hobbies.  My weight or physical size has grown in the wrong direction.  My patience is at an all time low.  

      I look forward to sleep (the good, deep, relaxing kind) and quiet time.  I have changed my daily diet only to change it back.  My hair is falling out and my skin is dry like paper. I order a special vitamin for that.  I even forget words or ideas within moments of mentally drumming them up. 

      I get seizures now. Those are surreal. I seldom remember them unless reminded by another person (i.e. my husband who held me through it). They scare us both.  I have a pill for those now.  My medications are tweaked every three weeks to three months.  Better living through chemistry, right?  

       Fun stuff! 


       (Yes, Sheldon, that was sarcasm.) 

      Reality isn’t really fun right now…

      I’m worried that my disease has become a  real disability.  It’s affecting my home, work and social life.  I have qualified for FMLA due to my increasing sick days.  The Amercian Disabilities Act has a section just for Thyroid issues.  There are work place accommodations listed that (before 2014) I would have never needed.   It’s a good start, but my system needs so much more attention, understanding and help.  A “scheduled potty break” in the afternoon just isn’t going to cut it for me.

      Obviously Hashimotos doesn’t seem to bode well with High School -right now.  

      Flare-ups, seizures, high anxiety levels, pressure, stress, fatigue, mystery body aches and mood swings are not conducive to the classroom environment.  I struggle with all of these things DAILY.   I feel like my body is at war within itself.  OH!  Wait!  IT IS !  

      So, do I redial my calling or what?  Hashimotos and High School… (sigh).